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No sex during pregnancy

4 replies

Akleom · 07/02/2021 17:27

My wife is in her 7th month of pregnancy and we haven't had sexual contact since around conception time. She's fearful it harms the baby but I think she's really physically attractive and I have needs. No foreplay either. I'm fearful she has lost her feelings and/or attraction for me and that this evolves and persists after birth.

Have any ladies gone thru this themselves? How best to get her back into the mood? I know everyone is an individual, but your responses are appreciated.

OP posts:
LouJ85 · 07/02/2021 17:38

I'm currently 7 months pregnant and I can relate to your wife's feelings. Some days I don't feel remotely attractive at all and just feel like a huge exhausted lump - sex is often the furthest thing from my mind (not off it completely- but it's not my number 1 priority anymore, which luckily my partner is very understanding about).

Pregnancy affects a woman in a multitude of ways, physically, emotionally, sexually, your identity ... every single thing about you changes. I'd say it unlikely she's gone off you, and more likely she's just absolutely exhausted and/or doesn't feel remotely attractive with her changing body and emotions, etc.

The best thing you can do to support her is to understand that sex is likely off the cards for a while and find other ways to be intimate and connect with her. It's a temporary situation and she needs you to support her right now with the final trimester of her pregnancy, which I can tell you with certainly is bloody tough.

Akleom · 07/02/2021 17:43

Thank you @LouJ85 she has my full and unwavering support - physically and emotionally. I'm always looking forward - just hopeful that that closeness can be restored once again.

Best wishes for the remainder of your pregnancy.

OP posts:
adventurealice · 08/02/2021 20:21

It is a bit of a tightrope I am afraid. On one hand you need to lay off and apply no pressure at all. On the other hand you need to keep the dialogue open as breastfeeding is likely to keep her mojo low and you could end up years later falling out of an intimate relationship. So no pressure but keep it in your conversations.

LosingItInLockdown · 14/02/2021 06:00

I agree with @LouJ85. I felt exactly the same during my pregnancies: loved my partner more than ever, but couldn’t stand the thought of being touched while I was massive, everything hurt and my head was all over the place. Thankfully he was completely supportive throughout, even though I know he found it tough. I’d say things got back to normal a year - 15 months postpartum (probably not what you want to hear!), but that was only because he was so understanding throughout that time. If he’d been putting the pressure on, I think sex would have been full of resentment and certainly wouldn’t have been as fun as it is now!

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