Sex/depression

[mum241986]

So,over Xmas my OH got diagnosed with depression and we've not had sex in 12 weeks. He says he's not in the mood and sex is the last thing on his mind.
I'm a very sexual person and like it a lot,so I know this sounds awful but how long do I wait before asking for sex. I understand that he's depressed but lack of sex is really making me miserable. I don't want to make him feel worse by asking him. Has anyone been in the same situation??
Thanks

Sorry to hear about the diagnosis of depression.

Personally I’ve never suffered from this, but have the normal life events (divorce, redundancy, cancer diagnosis in a parent ) that have affected libido and pushed sex the bottom of the pile.
I think the only you can do is be supportive of your partner and be available to help him as needed, and not ask for sex as that will be last thing on his mind

@JustAnotherOldMan

Sorry to hear about the diagnosis of depression.

Personally I’ve never suffered from this, but have the normal life events (divorce, redundancy, cancer diagnosis in a parent ) that have affected libido and pushed sex the bottom of the pile.
I think the only you can do is be supportive of your partner and be available to help him as needed, and not ask for sex as that will be last thing on his mind

Thank you for your comment,you make a lot of sense. I need to think of him in his time of need,I can always please myself😂 On a brighter note he's given up smoking and alcohol,I just hope he's not given up on me aswel

@mum241986

No worries, some good background about male depression here
www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/men-and-depression/index.shtml

Unfortunately lack of sexual desire and ED are common symptoms with male depression

I've also been put on ADs recently. My libido dried up overnight and hasn't (yet) recovered. It's had a big impact on my sexual function (not that it was great before as I think I've had depression for quite a while).

What do I want from my DW? ? Intimacy, non-sexual touching, physical closeness ie, clearing a space for sex if I want to go that way. What do I not want? To be put under pressure or for her to worry about my performance or hers.

[quote JustAnotherOldMan]@mum241986

No worries, some good background about male depression here
www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/men-and-depression/index.shtml

Unfortunately lack of sexual desire and ED are common symptoms with male depression[/quote]
Thanks I'll give it a read. It's nice to hear the opinion of a man

@Blokenamechangesexboard

I've also been put on ADs recently. My libido dried up overnight and hasn't (yet) recovered. It's had a big impact on my sexual function (not that it was great before as I think I've had depression for quite a while).

What do I want from my DW? ? Intimacy, non-sexual touching, physical closeness ie, clearing a space for sex if I want to go that way. What do I not want? To be put under pressure or for her to worry about my performance or hers.

Thank you for your advice and from a man that is going through it himself,you've made me really think about things. It's so hard to know what is going through a mans brain and women always think the worst. All the men in the past have been like sex pests😬 and always up for it,I'm just not use to being rejected. Hopefully things will get better once lockdown is over and things go back to normal. Sorry to hear your going through problems of your own