NC for this, for obvious reasons.
DP & I together for 10 years. Sex at the start of our relationship was mindblowing, at it like rabbits, best sex of (both our) lives.
Over time we have become lazy and it's dwindled to pretty much nothing today. We were last intimate 6 months ago.
We've finally discussed it several times recently and explored a lot of the reasons behind it which is good. I won't go into it as they aren't particularly relevant but we've figured a lot of stuff out about how we got here and why etc. So in that respect I feel like we've addressed the elephant in the room & are finally in a good place. However we now have the dilemma of how to get back on track.
DP says the idea of getting straight back in the saddle, as it were, makes him feel quite anxious - which is the same for me, tbh. The infrequent times we've had full sex in the past few years haven't been the best for me because I've not been relaxed because of the feeling of pressure ("right we're finally having sex better be good") and frankly out of practice things feel like they have narrowed (tmi sorry). DP says he feels like a teenage virgin again, I get it.
I've done a lot of googling & everything I find talks a lot about reasons for lack of sex, strategies for talking about it etc, but no practical advice on how on earth you start things up again.
Has anyone done this? I think we're basically looking for a timetable (sexy) of fun, non penetrative things to do to get used to being intimate with each other again without the feeling of performance etc. And advice on how you move from that to normal, regular sex again.
Please help!