Mean or insecure?

[MargotMarie]

So DP bought me some extra long socks for Xmas and seemed pretty excited about me putting them on.
Mentioned it several times. So the other night he was whispering in my ear about all the things he wanted to do to me (if I put the socks on) etc. So I went for my usual bath, and put the socks on with a little nightie, sauntered in the lounge and sat down next to him and ....he didn’t even look at me. He didn’t even turn his head. He said very nice, and gestured for me to lay next to him on the sofa and watch the rest of his film... and that was it. I felt a bit humiliated and silly really. Maybe I’m too insecure but I’m asking for perspective because this isn’t the first time. Same thing about a year ago. I don’t understand why he has bothered to buy ‘special things’ talks it up and then when I put it on he doesn’t acknowledge the gesture or do what he reckons he will.
He’s pretty steady with his compliments and we have sex regularly- although I would describe him as a very selfish lover. I have tried to explain that foreplay is a two way street but I don’t think the message has gotten through. I’ve stopped bothering to ask now because it’s not something you should have to really say is it? And he is 44 years old.
I suppose I’m trying to work out if he’s just mean and doesn’t really care about my feelings or if it’s insecurity

Could it be some sort of deliberate power play? He knows you don't necessarily want to wear them, he persuades you and then gets some sort of kick out of succeeding and then ignoring you....

Could it be a certain look that is fuelling his imagination ? Maybe the nightie ruins the fantasy for for him.
Perhaps there is more to this but he is finding it hard to share.

I suppose my presentation/delivery could be wrong

MegsSmeg- I hadn't thought of that. Thanks

I agree with @MegsSmeg. He sounds like he is playing games here. And that coupled with his complete lack of giving you foreplay, well, I don't think I could be bothered with it. I certainly wouldn't be dressing up for him anymore. Do you get any enjoyment from your sex life OP?

@Justcashnosweets Well, I'm thankful that he doesn't mind that I use my vibrator- which I need unless I'm on top! I don't get much satisfaction really- apart from sex being reassuring. Mostly I feel frustrated and irritated because of the lack of effort on his part.
Aside from the dressing up thing, I really don't get why he is so anti-foreplay. I've brought it up several times- we've been together 3.5 years. I've broached the subject gently, talked about what I like etc.
I've even got cross after sex and angry cried about him being selfish because he's used his saliva as lube because he doesn't warm me up (which is a frequent occurrence)! (Sorry, TMI).
Does anybody else face the same sort of thing?

This sounds like hard work...

He seems mean and pointless
Why are you accepting this in your life ?

“I felt a bit humiliated and silly really.“
This is why he did it.

What a bizarre thing for him to do 🤷‍♀️
I would have covered up those lovely socks with a pair of pjs and gone to bed !

@MargotMarie
What a selfish lover! I think I might be saying something like no sex until foreplay is more even..

I absolutely love foreplay, and wouldn't consider PIV until both parties have enjoyed the build up..

He sounds like an absolute knob. This isn't simply a matter of him being a bit inexperienced or not knowing what to do. He KNOWS you're unhappy with your sex life and he doesn't care. You're essentially just a wank sock to him. He doesn't care about your pleasure and whether you enjoy sex.

I would leave him, personally. You've had the talk and it still hasn't improved.

Maybe he can wank into those knee length socks he bought you whilst you go and find a more deserving partner 😉