He asks me to Lingerie all the time

[Monicaanna]

Guy I’ve been seeing always asks me to wear lingerie. It’s been three months dating. I’m big woman - size 20/22 so to find lingerie that fits nicely it’s hard on it’s own. I owned three sets when I met him. Bought two more but it’s getting little annoying to be always requesting that. I also started to wear heels I never wore before. Is it normal to be requesting lingerie every time? How many times I can wear the same set in front of him? How often you wear lingerie to bed?

I would hate this as for me being casual and comfortable is really important . I like wearing cute, comfy bralettes and Brazilian knickers in nude/ black . They look flattering but they're also really comfortable . Any guy who thinks I'm going to meet his specific dress code regulations would be a no from me .

Any guy who thinks I'm going to meet his specific dress code regulations would be a no from me

^this.

My bf never mentions my underwear, it just comes off, I just wear my everyday bra & knickers, I'm a slattern

Have a conversation with him. If you don’t like doing it tell him. If you don’t mind once in a while tell him. Just talk to him about it.

I love nice lingerie. It makes each start to the day a little special when l get dressed each morning. But it must also be practical and is for wearing under my clothes.

For sex everything comes off. I think you should let him know that, in more ways than one, you arenot comfortable with bed time dress codes.

also , he should be funding this habit . Not you !

No way that would be happening here. Lingerie isn’t part of our sex life as I wouldn’t enjoy it. Only do this if you want to.

There's no right or wrong IMO.
I love wearing underwear as it makes me feel sexy and deciding what to wear depends on my mood. I sometimes will ask if there are any favourites but mainly I dress for me.

Men are very visual creatures and he has told you what he likes. You need to decide if you are happy to go with that or not.

It would be nice if he shared in the buying as they are not especially cheap. There are some great plus size ranges so why not send him some pictures of what you like and he might surprise you.

He obviously has a fetish for lingerie which in itself isnt a bad thing but if you dont enjoy it then it will soon become a problem.
I had a fyb relationship with an older guy who was also obsessed with lingerie, I soon came to realise that he couldn't perform at all if I wasn't wearing underwear, he would never attempt to undress me and spent more time touching whatever I was wearing than actually touching me.
He absolutely loved shopping with me, it was exciting for him.
If you dont have an issue with dressing for him maybe you could try taking him shopping, he may start to buy you things.
Sadly it became an issue for me, I felt that he would be happy with anyone and the underwear was more important than me.

*FWB

I tend to more as a special occasion...ie after a meal or date night out (when not in lockdowns). That can vary from just a really nice more designer type set to sometimes wearing a set..more designed for the bedroom..which I suspect is what your man is wanting? If that is what you mean it i an occasional treat for us but is the works, ie stockings and more risqué lingerie but I admit to enjoying how it excites him

I really could not be bothered with every time frankly

It is concerning that your partner is so dogmatic about your bedtime attire and your shoes. If you're getting annoyed, then it's time to look at what it is in the situation that annoys you. It is sounding rather that the lingerie is more important than you inside it. If you are into it as well, but resent having to buy new gear all the time that is an issue to be addressed. It all needs talking through with him.

I very much like dressing up and am your size. It would be a lot less fun if my partner insisted on it. As it is, he's very happy for me to generally take the initiative, which I don't bother with all the time. I don't feel the need to wear different sets though. A couple of different pairs of french knickers and hold up stockings with maybe a matching cami to start off with is my norm. Wash and wear again. I did go to town on Christmas day, inspired by something he expressed a desire to feel/see me wearing.

A word of warning. Lovehoney are over optimistic about their sizing, their clothes have been very much on the small side.

@mooncats

I would hate this as for me being casual and comfortable is really important . I like wearing cute, comfy bralettes and Brazilian knickers in nude/ black . They look flattering but they're also really comfortable . Any guy who thinks I'm going to meet his specific dress code regulations would be a no from me .

Completely agree. A few points:

a) if it's starting to make you feel uncomfortable or pressured, it's not right.
b) he is using you to fulfil his fetish for lingerie.
c) if he is that desperate to see you in lingerie and heels, he should be buying it. Don't spend shedloads of money fulfilling his fetish!

If he was really into you, he wouldn't give a crap about your lingerie. It doesn't sound very healthy. How do you think he would react if you decided to wear comfy/regular underwear when you see him? If you think he would sulk / complain, then you need to drop him ASAP.

Have you actually spoken to him about this? What matters is whether you can come to a compromise that you are both happy with: what other people do is irrelevant.

I wouldnt be requesting any woman to wear x/y/z..its her personal choice. Having said that, im a big fan of hold ups and i do love the lingerie section of M&S.

@FloodedRoad

My bf never mentions my underwear, it just comes off, I just wear my everyday bra & knickers, I'm a slattern

This. I am not attracted by my DWs underwear, it is simply an obstacle that has to be removed....

Tell him to buy you some then if he wants you to wear it

I don't think I've ever dated a man that has taken an interest in my clothes or underwear, or shoes. Does he actually want to be with you as a person, it sounds as though he wants a sex doll