Why do I feel embarrassed

[Tinsel57]

I am 39 and have noticed that I need more longer foreplay to get wet. I’m so dry at the start of sex and it feels painful upon initial insertion. I have just brought some lube but I feel embarrassed to let my boyfriend know. I will probably hide and put it on beforehand. I wonder if I’m approaching early menopause as periods are really heavy. I don’t even know how to put the line on. I wonder what my boyfriend would say if he knows about the lube. I don’t want him to think he’s not arousing me.

Everyone uses lube, so don't worry about that
And yes you may be approaching perimenopause. Maybe see the GP?

He won't op. Men rarely care about such things, especially if it leads to sex.

You could use it on him like a massage oil to help the slide but it's a natural thing as we age and no biggy. It also helps with the ph levels inside your vagina. Canestan do a 'moisturiser' that you could use/insert before hand and he'd never know if it bothers you.

My partner of 17 years, who was 36 when we met, used to be as wet as an otter's pocket and we never even contemplated using lube. Things are now different and we use it on every occasion we have sex. I have no recollection of which one of us first made the decision to buy some, and our use of it is of no consequence whatsoever.

Our bodies change as we age, and we need to face up to that fact. I am sure that your boyfriend will not be bothered one way or the other about lube. Two minutes spent looking at the vast range of lubes on the market will tell you that it is not a niche product used by only a tiny minority of couples.

The elephant in the room here, as far as I am concerned, is that you have sex with a man and yet you are unable to discuss with him matters that are important to your personal enjoyment of sex. I apologise if that sounds a bit blunt, but effective communication is the cornerstone of any relationship and if you cannot tell a man without embarrassment that you want to use lube, then it is not the use of lube that is the main issue.

Be sure that general dehydration isn’t a factor. Also, if you’re that dry he’d probably appreciate some lube for his own benefit.

@xpc316e should it not be a beaver?!!! Spot on about the need to be able to communicate.