Going soft during wank

[Maybelle345]

I feel like a teenager asking this question but it’s really getting me down and I feel anxious to say something to my partner incase it makes him feel self conscious. We’ve been FWB for a number of years and sex has always been fine but the past while we’ll be kissing and doing foreplay and I can feel how hard he is against my leg but when I reach down to give him a wank he goes soft, not completely soft but noticeably more soft than he was when I wasn’t giving him a wank. If I stop and go back to the kissing and other stuff he gets hard again which makes me think I’m the problem. This is only a new thing in the past few months, have I lost the ability for good foreplay? Thoughts? Help?

Forgive me if this is high jacking but I'd be grateful if male posters could share experience of what they enjoy most in foreplay given to them by a female .

@peridito I’d also like to know! I’ve asked my partner a number of times but he’s not very forthcoming with info

Maybelle345 did you in the past do something to his dick that he didn't enjoy or found painful? He is possibly anticipating that action again. Ask to watch him wank and then try that yourself but remember the angle of his hands and the angle of yours will be different.

He obviously finds you attractive as its standing to attention, is it just hand jobs that makes it go soft or anything more than kissing?
I'd say potentially a confidence issue, when I was younger I didnt like receiving blow jobs, loved the feeling but felt under pressure as it was all about me, as I gained confidence it went away.

@peridito

Forgive me if this is high jacking but I'd be grateful if male posters could share experience of what they enjoy most in foreplay given to them by a female .

Start a new thread and I will reply to that along with other I'd imagine.

@MisterT373 to my knowledge no I haven’t done anything to him to make him anticipate something bad happening? But I can certainly ask to see him wank, that might help, thanks.

@Boatingforthestars yes it just seems to be a hand job, whenever we have sex he stays hard and has no problems finishing.
I’ve been giving him hand jobs on and off for the past 10 years so could it really be a confidence issue that he’s developed within the past few months?

Maybelle345 - invest in some lube - nobody can resist lube - but avoid the scented or minty ones .

Have you watched how he wanks himself? Some men will like soft and gentle caresses, others hard and fast.

Ok.so if this is a new issue but not new to the act then no I doubt it would be a confidence thing.
Like mister said, try abit of lube, if your technique isn't right it can be sore and you wouldnt realise unless he tells you.
Maybe either ask him or do some "research" on how other men stroke, I'm sure certain websites are full of videos of men tugging.....

Hold his foreskin right back and tightly so, and if possible squeezing his balls. Use some lube and then rub his cock as though he is circumcised going right up and down. There isn't many that can stand that for long

Ouch - you see that would make me flop in seconds. Everyman is different so you won't be able to tell what works for him without some homework

My scenario- sit opposite him and watch him masturbate, play with yourself a little bit and then when you feel you've picked up what he likes. Scrabble him in reverse cowgirl and take over the hand work. Lean forward enough so he can get a view of your goodies and you'll probably have to increase the speed so you may get wankers claw. If he goes floppy then don't push it - it'll only mess his head up more.

I'm off for a lie down now....

Straddle not Scrabble

If this happens again OP try this.....

Encircle his cock at the base with your thumb and forefinger and squeeze gently encouraging the blood into the shaft. This is a gentle but firm squeezing motion. He will react. Ask him if he likes it and ask him to tell you the right amount of pressure to apply for maximum effect. Practice on your wrist. it's a gentle squeezing and letting go motion. Not dissimilar in having a cock ring but you're using your fingers instead.
Recommended when giving oral :)

I cant vouch for your technique but maybe your first touch could be to just gently cup his balls,genty stroke and massage them in the palm of your hands. Make it last a while,let your index stray to his perineum and gently stroke,,rather than encircle his cock with your thumb and index finge gently grip it with a light touch and massage it,,dont worry if it wilts slightly,,just keep gently stroking.

When its fully hard it might just be that he is involuntarily clamping his pc muscles which of course makes it harder and then when you touch he is relaxing which backs off the pressure a little..