I just hate sex

[Misschandlerbong]

I've been with my partner for over 20 years but the last 5 or so years has been horrible...
He's abusive, nasty, controlling and has accused me of all sorts like cheating and talking to people etc.
I was told I didn't need to return to work after having our youngest as it wouldn't pay (he was jealous I had independence) but since I've been accused again of having people round etc.
For the record I've done naff all

So.... When it comes to having sex or anything to do with sex I just HATE it!!! I find it boring and repulsive! I don't know if it's sex in itself or the person I have become to hate SO much!!
I just don't know what to do any more... If I say no to it then it causes BIG problems

You have to leave...you know it. You can't stay with an abuser! Your children are sucking up all that negativity and they're learning that this is what a relationship is! How old are your kids?

You hate him. Being coerced into sex with someone you hate to not cause problems is being abused. I would hate being abused too and I love sex with the right person.
You need to plan your exit OP. Good luck

Hi. 18,9 and 5

How? How do I go? He won't go because "he pays the rent" however its my name on the tenancy

You'll get some great practical advise if you get this moved to relationships.

I don’t think it’s the sex - it’s the man you live with. Nothing you describe in your OP is right. Please consider posting in divorce / separating for practical advice or relationships

@Misschandlerbong

How? How do I go? He won't go because "he pays the rent" however its my name on the tenancy

Then he has no choice. Your name, your place. Get rid.

You'll get housing benefit. If you're not married and his name isn't on the tenancy, you are within your rights to boot him out.

Tell him he has to go.

I'd definitely get this moved to relationships or start a new thread there.

It isn't sex you hate, but him. One day in the future when you find someone you love and the sex will be amazing