Wank material but not in real life?

[trtrytryagain]

My DP’s go to choice for wanking is women in stockings and tights walking round in them, taking them off and putting them back on. He's also engaged in this type of thing with ex's. He doesn't know I know this.

In the past I have tried to do add to our sex life, (before finding this out), with nice underwear, lingerie, basic sex toys, and he has not wanted to engage, to the point of feigning being ill at the time. I obviously stopped with trying that kind of thing as didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable or that he had to do anything just because I did. We have a generally good sex life so wasn’t the end of the world... however since finding this info out it has really knocked my confidence and I’m upset about it. I feel like he doesn't find me attractive enough or think I look good enough.

I am trying to understand why he enjoys actively watching it, has also done similar things previously with ex’s, but doesn’t want to with me...any thoughts?

Madonna/Whore complex?

Go on then how did you find this out? If from one of his exes I would take that with a very large pinch of salt.Seriously who is going to walk round putting hosiery on and off whilst a man is having a wank?

The walking around thing is on videos for wanking purposes (we both masturbate when we're not together - no big deal).

With the ex's it was them doing the typical stocking and suspenders dressing up thing as part of sex. Or wearing them out under a dress with heels for a night out and then sex after at home.

Neither ex told me directly.

@AnotherVice

Madonna/Whore complex?

I've had a read about that now. Thanks. It could be. The ex's were more FWB. He has been clear he wants a long term relationship with me.

Maybe it reminds him of his ex and puts him off. Want material def different to real life too so I would try not to be too worried

How do you know that about the exes?