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Is this normal?

15 replies

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 08/11/2020 22:31

I’ve been bothered by a strange weekend away I had a while ago and not sure if it’s normal or I am being over-sensitive. We’re not together anymore so I suppose most answers will be “don’t give it anymore thought” but if it’s something about me I’d like to work on it.
It was my birthday trip away and we’d had a nice dinner, champagne etc and gone back to the room. He’d then phoned his mum so I got sex was off the cards (he wasn’t usually keen anyway so this wasn’t a surprise). Anyway I fell asleep while he was chatting to his mum. I woke up to him asking for a blow job with his erection in my face and did start to go along with it, however because I was very full and had been drinking it wasn’t possible. Anyway he didn’t try to move onto sex instead but rather while I slept/laid awkwardly next to him pretending not to feel weird he was up on his knees wanking himself off... not over me btw.... he wasn’t even near me particularly, it was a twin bed room, or looking in my direction. on my birthday night.
I felt pretty crap and awkward about this the whole weekend.
A couple of days later we were at a public spa and he was pressuring me to give him a blow job there too. There were many people about and we were with another couple. He said he would leave if I didn’t do it and I would have to explain that to my friends and I was being ungrateful for the spa trip he had paid for. I suggested we go to the toilets etc as I wasn’t comfortable being in a sauna etc where anyone could walk in but he wasn’t happy with that suggestion and so we did neither. He stormed off to another part of the spa and I hung out on my own for a little while, went to join friends later. The final day he lectured me on what was wrong with me and that he had been trying it on with me all weekend and I “wasn’t up for it” but tbh by this point I was feeling pretty awkward about those two encounters and so wasn’t really feeling like suggesting we sleep together instead of me just giving him a blow job. He was really annoyed and said as there was one more night left of the break but I had to return home for work the next day that he may stay and invite someone else who would want to sleep with him. At this point we had been in a relationship for 3 years so this was not a normal thing to say.
I think I need some reassurance that other people’s husbands don’t act like this, or maybe some insight if I had over reacted as other than the sexual things we had a really nice weekend away!

OP posts:
Danniiaddy · 09/11/2020 01:42

Not normal at all. Actually pressuring you to perform a sex act on him is a little bit rapey so no wonder it’s bothered you. Thank your lucky stars you’re not with him any more.

peridito · 09/11/2020 08:49

Wow ! I can't believe that you're asking if this is normal behaviour .

He sounds awful ,really selfish .

Thank goodness he is no longer in your life .Now you need to get him out of your head .

I'm sorry you had this horrible experience Flowers

peridito · 09/11/2020 08:51

Any other longer term posters wondering how a certain other poster is going to spin this as somehow being an opportunity to discuss being rejected by his wife ?

Secretsquirrel2017 · 09/11/2020 08:56

I don’t know much but I don’t think that’s normal behaviour at all in a relationship.

I don’t think the guy had much respect for you, maybe he had already “checked out” so didn’t care about your feelings or the future?

The guy sounds like a complete A-hole to be honest. There are some strange folk about.

I hope you have found someone more respectful and who loves you as you deserve.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 09/11/2020 10:09

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I’ve just been wondering what part I played in some situations as a way to maybe gain some insight into myself. Sometimes people are just arseholes I guess! X

OP posts:
Alonelonelyloner · 09/11/2020 10:14

@peridito HAHAHAHAHA Yup

This is absolutely not normal behaviour (but I'd as that as someone who things normal is a very wide spectrum, maybe it is somewhere on there), but even if it were normal, it is rapey and unpleasant. Get this dude out of your head forthwith!

Alonelonelyloner · 09/11/2020 10:14

Sorry for all the damn typos

Secretsquirrel2017 · 09/11/2020 10:43

@peridito indeed Hmm

fineokthen · 09/11/2020 12:25

A couple of days later we were at a public spa and he was pressuring me to give him a blow job there too. There were many people about and we were with another couple. He said he would leave if I didn’t do it and I would have to explain that to my friends and I was being ungrateful for the spa trip he had paid for.

Why do women tolerate this kind of behaviour ?

Wellthatwasashock · 09/11/2020 13:46

@peridito snigger. And oh the timing!

saleorbouy · 09/11/2020 18:11

You're better off without that weirdo. Go and find someone who appreciates being with you.

Fudgsicles · 09/11/2020 23:01

Bloody hell OP, I thought you were going to say this was a boyfriend of a few months, not your long term partner. What a fucking dick! You did NOTHING wrong, and I usually will see how there could be something from both sides but not here. And he wasn't trying it on with you, he wanted his selfish needs met with bollocks all thought for yours. So glad you are no longer together.

Shunter350 · 03/12/2020 22:14

Get rid of him. He’s controlling.

Arnoldthecat · 04/12/2020 09:57

WTF ! In my view this is not normal and is verging on abuse,bullying and a total lack of respect. It amazes me what i read on here and what some of you ladies put up with. Have you thought of leaving him? Set the bar higher ladies..

wizzywig · 04/12/2020 10:27

Op he is a grade A shithead. Sex is not transactional. No wonder you felt weird. Ditch him

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