I’d like my husband to watch porn with me

[Curiouswife]

Hi guys

Personal subject but was hoping to get some advice from men and women

I like to watch porn alone. I am not sure if my husband does. He definitely did before we met 8.5 years ago. I have the higher sex drive although it’s very much linked to my cycle so there are peaks and lulls during the month. My husband is on medication which does decrease his sex drive but we have sex perhaps 4/5 times a month. I don’t substitute sex with watching porn and/or masturbating and will always choose sex if my husband is up for it. We are pretty open about sex and occasionally use toys or dressing up in the bedroom. I’d like to watch porn together but am unsure how to bring it up or go about it. I’m sure when we’ve watched a steamy scene on TV that it gets him going and sometimes we’ll have sex later on. I am bisexual and my husband knows I have slept with women before we met. I like to watch porn in which I can see women enjoying themselves and more real sex rather than fake, degrading mainstream stuff. I do lean towards lesbian porn as this tends to be more along these lines. I do like watching men in porn but only when they’re more ‘real’ rather than acting etc. For me, it’s the thought of receiving the same pleasure or simply watching sexual images that turns me on. I don’t wish I was having sex with someone else which I worry my husband might think. I just think it’d be fun to sit through a few films as foreplay to get us really worked up. I guess I do have a bit of a worry about him perhaps wishing he was having sex with someone in the video. I don’t have amazing body image although my husband reassures me a lot and loves me as I am. That’s another reason I’m attracted to more real life porn rather than were everyone has perfect bodies and perky everything! So a few questions really:

1. Do you think it’s a good or bad idea?
2. Does anyone do this and how have you found it?
3. How do I bring it up?
4. Any recommendations for couple friendly porn?

Any other suggestions welcome

Thank you

It is a good idea if both of you are up for it. DH and I have done it occasionally as with everything else it becomes boring if it’s the norm.
We first tried it on holiday with some fairly soft porn on the hotel site. It was an incredible turn on.
We do like ‘real’ sex, particularly outdoor stuff. In our younger days we enjoyed sex in the fresh air.
I would be direct about it. Ask him if he would be up for it and then make a date.
Oofos is a site I was recommended. It is real people posting videos for others to share. Real couples having loving sex rather than ‘actors’ slogging it out with no hint of sensual sex.
Many women are adverse to using porn but sometimes it can really benefit a relationship particularly a long term one where sex has become a little stale.
I know that many women feel that using porn is a betrayal but I found DH prefers watching porn with women the same age and shape as me which reassures me. Also I can’t moan because I do use porn myself.

I think it can be a great turn on BUT if you feel insecure about him watching and there is a chance you may make him feel guilty in some way for participating and enjoying it, don’t do it. You would both need to be able to watch and enjoy it for whatever reason and not want to question what the other got out of it or insinuate it means he fancies them more than you. If you can get over your hang-ups then go for it.

When you’re worried about your body comparing with theirs, just remember that we can all fancy something and think they’re really hot and attractive but that doesn’t mean we would ever want a relationship with that person, or that we would want to cheat or have a ONS with them either. It’s just visual. I see lots of beautiful things that I can admire and acknowledge because I’m not blind but I wouldn’t necessarily want it for myself and wouldn’t trade my own xyz for it. He loves you, he is with you and you can both enjoy looking and admiring but ultimately the fun is still just between the two of you.

Thanks for your responses so far. I guess my concern is that he would view porn differently to me. I see people enjoying themselves and the overall visual act turns me on and it makes me want to have the same pleasure....but from my husband. I wouldn’t have sex with him wishing it was the guy, or girl, from the video. I worry that he would and I wouldn’t be enough for him. Saying that, he has never given me reason to think he doesn’t love and fancy me so I aware that is my hang up. I’d hope he would view it like I do. Watching naughty scenes getting turned on, then using that excitement to have fun together (or alone in my case so far). I would never make him feel guilty for getting off on it. I think it’s natural to get turned on by watching sexy stuff. I am more adventurous than him though so hope he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. It’s tricky when I have a higher sex drive but I think it might help increase his - something new to try and the visual stimulation maybe

@Angrymum22

It is a good idea if both of you are up for it. DH and I have done it occasionally as with everything else it becomes boring if it’s the norm. We first tried it on holiday with some fairly soft porn on the hotel site. It was an incredible turn on. We do like ‘real’ sex, particularly outdoor stuff. In our younger days we enjoyed sex in the fresh air. I would be direct about it. Ask him if he would be up for it and then make a date. Oofos is a site I was recommended. It is real people posting videos for others to share. Real couples having loving sex rather than ‘actors’ slogging it out with no hint of sensual sex. Many women are adverse to using porn but sometimes it can really benefit a relationship particularly a long term one where sex has become a little stale. I know that many women feel that using porn is a betrayal but I found DH prefers watching porn with women the same age and shape as me which reassures me. Also I can’t moan because I do use porn myself.

What is the name of this site Angrymum22? I can’t find it? Thanks

Sorry I gave you the wrong name OOFOS do shoes I really must put my glasses on when online. It’s a site called MLNP.tv.

We've been watching porn together for a year. We have an adventurous relationship, so I just asked my OH if she would like to watch with me one evening. So I found something I thought she would enjoy. We were both really turned on and made great love after watching a couple of scenes.
We'll do this every couple of weeks. I light some candles and she'll sit between my legs with my arms wrapped around her.
A couple of points, just check what you plan to watch beforehand. There's a lot of varied material out there. Make sure that the main event follows the porn so you give each other you'll full attention having turned off the screen. Often we'll comment on what we see and if we'd like to try anything. Every now and again we learn something new about our desires.

Brilliant. I’ll check it out thank you

Thanks for your input. Yes, choosing what to watch could prove a challenge! There’s a lot of niche stuff out there and I wonder if he’d be interested in the same sort of stuff I am? Have you found it detrimental to leave it playing whilst the main event is happening?

We leave it running.

We always turn off after watching two or three scenes. We find it more enjoyable to focus on each other.
Similar to using toys, it should enhance our pleasure, rather than be the focus of it.
I was both surprised and delighted that my partner enjoyed watching with me so much.

DP would think it’s Christmas if I watched porn with him, I have a few times but my libido is very low due to medical problems I just don’t have the buzz.

I think you've explained what you want really well here - would you consider writing your DH a note along the same lines if you don't feel 100% comfortable discussing it? It would also give him a bit of time to consider the idea.

I enjoy fairly vanilla stuff - Dane Jones Erotica is worth a look IMHO.