Struggling to cope with husband’s girlfriend

[MoggTheCat]

Despite many years of relationship counselling, sex therapy and individual therapy, I have no sex drive and find it impossible to have a physical relationship with my husband. We are very affectionate with each other, good parents to our children and get on very well in all other aspects. A while ago we made the difficult decision that my husband should see other women for sex, as he wants us to stay together but can’t cope with not having a sex life. I wasn’t happy about it but I know I am acting unreasonably by not being able to do physical intimacy and I thought it would be preferable to him leaving me. Now he has started seeing someone else on a regular basis and I am really struggling to cope with it. I wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation and could give any advice? Thank you.

It would depend on what the deal was and whether he’s emotionally attached. Presumably it was just to tick a physical needs box. Of course, and as you’re likely finding now, there was a high risk of something developing further - on an emotional level.

In such circumstances I’d prefer to agree to him having safe sex with a professional escort.

I’m sure others will disagree.

Good grief, that’s a somewhat pertinent detail you managed to leave out there OP!

To be fair to be op she talked about this in her previous thread and said she didnt want a girlfriend of her own so lack of sex isnt solely because she might be gay.

No advise op, but do you think you are unhappy incase he falls in love with her? Or because you feel you’ve failed somehow as you cant have sex with him?

I think very few couples are able to have a one sided open relationship

Do you want a relationship with a woman as you have the chance?

Sorry OP but you cannot have your cale and eat it. Whether you want a GF or not, you're gay and don't want sex with your husband. It is hugely unfair to expect him to put up with no sex for the rest of his life.

Honestly, this will end in disaster as hes bound to fall for someone else, espeically if she is a regular GF. You should just split, despite what he says he wants.

If you are gay and don't want him, then of course he should be able to have sex with someone. And yes of course most likely will leave you.

You need to split up, this situation is untenable for you both. You're wasting your life and his.

Open relationships are common but all parties need to be on the same page and happy with everything . If that’s not happening then this isn’t working