Dry spell- newlyweds

[opalescent]

Dh and I have been together for 7 years. Two young kids. Got married in December 2019.
We have had a really dry spell this year- I'd say we've had sex 4 times over the last 6-7 months 😬.
In my heart I think it's ok. We still laugh and properly talk together daily. We are affectionate (he has to be jogged a bit on this, but has always been the same!). He will notice if I look nice and comment, and I do likewise.
We have a three year old daughter who gets into our bed every single night, so we never ever wake up alone. We are both shattered at bedtime.
We have both started very stressful and intense jobs this year, and the weeks are draining.

Can someone just reassure me that their marriage has been through similar and come out the other side?

Nothing will change unless you make it

Err were basically once this year. I'm fine with it.

Its your relationship therefore your responsibility. Are you comfortable with not having sex that often? Do you want to change this?
How active where you guys before? Have you explored this with your partner?

Sex is important in my relationship (we are 4-5 times a week) we have four kids. Dont think we've had a dry spell, even after have kids.

Young children are devastating for sex life in my experience. It does recover somewhat as they get older although never to pre-kids fervour.

We’ve together 15 yrs and I find we go through phases, sometimes we are very in love, other times for months and months we are more like slightly-irritated-with-each-other flatmates who occasionally sleep together.

It’s normal to have a dry spell especially when tired or with a young child. It’s also normal to feel quite deflated/disappointed not long after getting married. One thing to watch out for though is porn - I’ve never been anti-porn at all, but over the years I’ve noticed my husband’s style in bed has got much less affectionate/sensual and more ‘porny’ and I reckon it’s because he’s seen so much porn in the times where he’s worked far away etc.

Just keep communicating and find ways to satisfy each other that aren’t a full on session.

Pretty standard with young kid(s) these things wax and wane!

Every time the child gets in your bed, you return her to her own bed. This isn't about your sex life, it's about you getting a decent sleep. Eventually you may have the energy to have a sex life..

Yes, we came out the other side but it didn't just happen. Spontaneous sex hasn't ever really returned. So, my advice is, make it happen if one or both of you wants it.

And start by getting the kid out of your bed permanently. You will probably all benefit from having some space and privacy.

So, my advice is, make it happen if one or both of you wants it.

Hmm.. only if both, ideally.

If both want it, that makes it easier for things to happen, either spontaneously or otherwise. If only one person wants it, then the other person needs to be open to discussion on the point. I think that's obvious enough and certainly what I meant.

Agree with PP you need to crack the daughter in the bed problem to help you all get better sleep (including her).

Half term (soon) might be a better time to tackle this as she'll resist strongly at first.

Your relationship sounds fine & strong to me - I expect sex will come back once you're less knackered.