Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Advice needed re opening our relationship

15 replies

Brandyb · 03/09/2020 12:40

Where can me and my very long-term male partner go to find non-seedy sex partners on the side?

We opened up our relationship last year, after 20-odd years together, but so far only I (female) have had lovely no-strings sex. It was perfect and liberating and enough juju to remind me of all the good stuff I have at home - if you see what I mean? I needed something different and I got it, massively! But there was not a risk that it would get more serious because this guy, though very well endowed, would never match my partner for intellectual stimulation. It was seriously perfect and satisfied all my monogamous frustration. My partner knew about it, although there are aspects he doesn't know about and I still fantasize about. He is totally non-jealous/possessive. I'm not, but I'm willing to learn.

I want my partner to experience this. He has only been with me and one other woman but he has so much to give and we only have one life. There must be a woman out there who wants to be fucked, beautifully, with no or at the most few strings attached (I get that even with a fuck buddy there might be some feelings but I don't want it to ultimately challenge my relationship. Happy for it to have a place in our life). I want to find an egalitarian place where people can agree to have sex with both of them expecting pleasure and attention and yet for it to be purely about the sex, no other expectations.

I find it easy to find alternative sexual partners because I'm a woman and pretty happy to predate, but my partner never does that - he's just not that kind of man. But he has a lot of sexual energy which I would enjoy seeing him spend on someone else. I know there are risks but we have weighed them and I think we would be ok.

Is there such a place to find non-seedy sexual transactions??

Help!

OP posts:
Brandyb · 03/09/2020 12:43

Maybe initially I would want to watch with a male partner - that might be seriously sexy and also I would know what's going on, which would calm my jealous impulses as well as turn me on. Can I arrange for this??

OP posts:
Supermum12345 · 03/09/2020 21:54

I'm free 😂

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 03/09/2020 23:42

Maybe initially I would want to watch with a male partner

Do you mean you'd want to watch him having sex with a man?

Look, it's not up to you to arrange his sex life. If he's happy with your current arrangement, crack on. Painfully honest conversations are the price of ethical non-monogamy.

AverageGuy · 04/09/2020 08:35

OP,
You could try a swingers site like FabSwingers, but be aware that you are looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. I'd have suggested going to a swingers club, but they are all currently closed.

Finding a woman willing to have casual sex, or become a FB / FWB is virtually impossible (I speak from experience! Sad).

There are THOUSANDS of guys out there looking for the same thing (some that don't have such an understanding wife as you... - just saying!)

Ladies that might be willing have a HUGE choice.

He could try the normal dating sites, like Tinder / Bumble / POF etc, but maybe you write his profile for him? Stating that you are happily together, but have a consensual non-monogamous / pansexual / whatever relationship, and are looking for, er, playmates?

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck!

@Supermum12345 - pm me! Grin

PinotPony · 04/09/2020 09:32

Killing Kittens!
Female led swinging community with very strict rules about conduct, honesty and respect.
You can join as a couple or individually. Would suggest joining the Kurious chat group to find your way around and get to know other people starting out on their journey. There's a wealth of advice about how to navigate an open relationship and safeguarding the emotional welfare of all involved.
Feel free to drop me a DM if you want me to show you around and introduce you to some lovely people. 😀

GentlemanJay · 04/09/2020 13:52

Fab Swingers is the obvious choice but it's very difficult for single men.

The only easier way is to visit a club together when they reopen. What about doing a swap with another couple?

Supermum12345 · 04/09/2020 14:36

@AverageGuy hey how do I send a PM? Iv got the app and I can't see the option. Why don't u send me a message Wink

AverageGuy · 04/09/2020 14:52

@Supermum12345 - message received! Smile Reply sent! Grin

FluffnAll234 · 05/09/2020 11:05

@Supermum12345
@AverageGuy

Have fun guys Wink

FluffnAll234 · 05/09/2020 12:24

l think although you’ve considered yours and your partners feelings, there is the element of the other woman/man getting emotionally attached and developing feelings for either you, or your partner, so this is something that would have to be made clear at the start and if things start to get tricky, then you would have to cut all strings with those involved. Had I been single, it would be something I would be interested in, although I wouldn’t be able to say whether it could lead me to develop feelings for the FB/FWB.

Brandyb · 07/09/2020 22:01

@AverageGuy
@Supermum12345
Enjoy! Grin

Thanks all for your input/advice, and @PinotPony - I'll definitely check out your recommendations, sounds just right. And I may well dm you - thanks x

OP posts:
AverageGuy · 07/09/2020 22:07

Unfortunately, supermum12345 wanted different things... Sad

FluffnAll234 · 08/09/2020 11:40

Unfortunately, supermum12345 wanted different things... sad

@AverageGuy - I hope you both get what you need.

ZebraSpotts · 12/09/2020 18:32

@AverageGuy what is it you're wanting? :)

AverageGuy · 12/09/2020 18:36

@ZebraSpotts
Maybe YOU should pm me... Grin

New posts on this thread. Refresh page

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.

Swipe left for the next trending thread