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Sex drive and menopause

9 replies

PermanentTemporary · 28/08/2020 23:09

I think menopause is really happening. Last period didn't really happen at all and this one's a bit weird too.

I enjoyed a crazily intense sex drive for a year until last Christmas. Then it seemed to settle a bit, followed by lockdown.

I've loved being so sexual - it's not completely unlike me but definitely not like me in relationships. I did some things ive always wanted to do, some of the people I had sex with were skankier than others but in general it's been positive I think.

And now I'm scared. Scared of ageing I guess. Does everyone have a sex drive crash during menopause- is it inevitable?

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PermanentTemporary · 29/08/2020 07:53


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AnotherLanguage · 29/08/2020 13:00

I can only speak about my DW. Once she started HRT everything is working very well for both of us. We thoroughly researched HRT and both spoke to lots of people. Although her choice it was an easy decision in the end.

Certainly life, or sex life, is not over pre and during menopause. I would recommend researching lots and lots.

PermanentTemporary · 29/08/2020 21:45

Thanks Another. Really glad to hear it's working well.

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blueshoes · 29/08/2020 21:56

I think your body goes through one last hurrah before it locks down after menopause, hence your intensive sex drive.

It is liberating not to be 'sexual'. You can still be groomed and attractive but your high beam is switched off and you are no longer looking for sexual validation from the opposite sex (hetero). It is calmer and more peaceful.

PermanentTemporary · 30/08/2020 00:20

[bursts into tears]

I agree about the last hurrah though mine was complicated by an emotional supercharge from bereavement.

I'm just struggling with the idea of not wanting sex. It feels like planning to be dead.

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blueshoes · 30/08/2020 01:21

Has your sex drive crashed yet? If not, maybe it will stay high. I can only speak for myself. Maybe it will be different for you.

Anyway, you can have sex whether you have a strong sex drive or not. Maybe it will take more to get into the mood but you don't have to give up anything you don't want to. I am sure you will be able to find willing partners in crime.

NotaWickedStepMum55 · 01/09/2020 21:59

Very post menopausal, 12 years on, still enjoying sex, possibly even more now than before. Or perhaps that's with husband number 2. I always thought that with menopause came an increase in weight and a decrease in libido. For me, the reverse happened.

PermanentTemporary · 02/09/2020 22:10

Thank you!

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itsureis · 02/09/2020 23:56

I am also very scared of the menopause and what it will do to my sex drive but for now I'm just going to ignore it and carry on regardless.
I hope you find a way to hold on to it xx

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