I gave birth just under 6 weeks ago. In the past week or so I've been wanting to have sex with my partner, as in I've had the physical desire, but when we've tried I start viewing it as a purely mechanic process where I'm so focussed on if it hurts, if it feels different, if its too deep etc etc. This is my third baby (first with my partner). My first was a c section so sex after wasn't physically different and my XH and I never had sex after my second was born (vaginally) so the next time was a considerable time afterwards and with a different partner so I couldn't draw the comparison about how it felt.
The problem is that when it comes to it, as much as I may have wanted it before, my mind is then focused on the physical feeling rather than the emotional connection and then anxiety kicks in and before I know it the moment is ruined and I'm asking him to stop.
I will add that my partner is happy to wait, he's putting no pressure on at all. In anything I'm putring pressure on myself to get on with it and get back to how it was. He's also completely fine with me asking to stop, but I know it must be really frustrating for him, especially when I've initiated it just to tell him to stop so I'm now reticent to attempt it again.
Does anyone have any advice for me? I think I'm making this a bigger issue in my head than it actually is, but I dont know how not to.