Hiding masturbation from partner

[Dadbodlovestory]

Bit of a survey question. Im married and have a reasonable sex lofe with the odd dey patch. 2 young kids. I still mssturbate about twice per week. Im pretty sure husband does too.

However we never talk about it and there seems to be an unwritten code of silence in our marriage. Not really sure why this is !

So do you still madturbate in hapoy relationship? Do you tell other half??

If you dont how do you get some sneaky alone time ? Especially if you have kids in tow

Do it together! DW and I would do this when one of us was feeling horny and the other wasn't - ok full disclosure that was usually me - or we just didn't have time for full-on sex (kids) or we were tired out (kids) and really wanted to sleep. Or, one of us would do it while just being held, and watched by the other. It basically WAS our sex life for long periods when the DC were little. And it's surprisingly lovely bringing yourself off while the one you love looks on approvingly, and encourages you with reminiscences of previous proper sex sessions from the 'old days' ie before kids. And then, roll over and straight to sleep! No guilt.

@OneEye1961 I'm loving that idea! Sadly for me dh is very... Private/old fashioned and doesn't ever seem to enjoy wanking off in front of me or watching me pleasure myself.

@18OneEye1961 that sounds like fun. But for me that defeats the purpose of masturbating. I want my masturbation to be all about me doing what I want, how I want in private without taking my partner into consideration. I'm well up for trying mutual masturbation where we watch each other, but to me that is more about sex than masturbation.

@Rewis I get that, I think. It's a different thing, though it's still quite selfish, tbh! It was a good way to deal with us being out of sync - tired & not up for it / not tired & up for it - because it's quick! And it keeps sexual communication alive through rough times.

@2018 That's a shame. I can't understand how talking sexily with someone, lying next to them when they come, being sometimes an interested observer, sometimes really helping them orgasm, though not necessarily physically, is somehow off-limits, but actual full sex with each other isn't!

And by the way, I'm not saying private masturbation shouldn't still be able to happen, it absolutely should.

I asked my partner "is watching porn cheating" and he brought up a good point. That watching porn in a relationship isn't an issue unless it's diverting sexual energy away from your physical intimacy.

I think it's common to not mention it to each other, maybe because of the stigma?

I think some people would dislike the idea of their loved one climaxing to someone who isn't them. Each to their own - I have definitely felt this way before and I do think jealousy is natural and shows that you care and are protective.

However, I also think that porn is a means to an end. It's not emotional, it's fantasy, it's our solitary pleasure time to explore. And if your sex life is active and fulfilling then it's less likely to cause offence.

I have a baby and masturbation happens when everyone is asleep and I personally keep it to myself. Sometimes it makes me feel more sexual and I try it on with my partner more whereas sometimes I do think it satisfies me so I won't try.

We both still do it, both together and solo, usually when the other is out the house. There’s something very hot about using my bullet vibe as he’s kneeling either side of my stomach playing ready to spray over me

Masterbation is my only release. Wife no longer interested in sex has told me to sort myself out. She doesn’t wan the gory details but she obviously knows I wank.

Do I wish we were doing it together? Absolutely
Am I bothered that she knows but doesn’t mention it? Not a jot

@Dadslearning Same. Sad, isn't it? I suppose I always knew there'd come a time when sex was just memories, still a shock though when it arrives.

@furt / @dad's how old are you, if you don't mind me asking

[quote topcat2014]**@furt* / @dad*'s how old are you, if you don't mind me asking[/quote]
I’m 49

No I’m not I’m 40 my finger hit 9 by mistake lol

I'm in an open relationship with DP who I see every couple of weeks. Masturbation is really important to me because I don't have sex on tap whenever I feel like it.

I have teenage kids but there's plenty of opportunity for some solo play. I just lock my bedroom door and turn the tv up!

I'll masturbate alone in the shower or in bed at night, during video calls to play partners or with DP when he visits. I don't see it as anything to be embarrassed about.

I have an afternoon off once a week and quite often do it. I don't tell me DH..I don't know if he does it without me. I don't think it distracts from our sex life but it is a bit weird that it is a secret I have.

@topcat I'm 58