Hoping to improve intimacy

[Relightmefire]

My DF and I probably have sex around 5-6 times a year at the most. We are still young (sub 30) and are happy together. We have busy jobs and work conflicting shifts a lot of the time.

DF can sometimes be emotionally unavailable and doesn't always understand the need for emotional intimacy as well as the physical. We've spoken a lot about sex over the years we've been together and we both want it more regularly but in reality it just doesn't happen. The communication is there, it just feels like life gets in the way and we don't make the time for it.

I often feel that because we don't have sex often, DF doesn't know my body and it begins passionless each time because of the fact it's been a while. It is also over quickly for that same reason.

I want to try to make some effort to really connect again physically and hopefully emotionally. Would you have any suggestions how I can do this?

I’m in a similar situation with intimacy and my partner is quite Victorian in his attitude about sex despite us having it regularly.

One thing that has helped us is taking a look at Lovehoney and bringing in more conversation between us of things we might like to try. It doesn’t even have to be toys, bondage if that’s not your cup of tea. It can be the massage oils, sensory play, lingerie type stuff to build anticipation and connection.

There might also be some ideas of how you can help your partner learn more about your body and how you can both please each other.

Thank you for the advice @AragornsManlyStubble I will try something like that soon and hope for the best.

When you say it’s passionless do you mean he is just going through the motions until he comes? And you say it begins passionless, does that improve throughout?
Kissing adds passion for me, also eye contact.
Was it always like this? That is very little sex to be having

He does become passionate during but I feel it starts awkwardly/I feel like it's forced because it's been so long between each time. I don't feel like he is comfortable expressing himself sexually so it's always as if he's holding back, not confident, awkward and lacking passion

This floods over into normal life, he is never really excited or really sad, he always appears the same. I don't think he is confident expressing his emotions generally. That does effect our sex life and relationship generally.

He is very emotionally unavailable and I really crave that deeper emotional connection and intimacy with him. It's not reciprocated and we've spoken about it and I honestly don't think his emotional intelligence allows him to even understand what that means. I find that hard.

We've spoken a lot about our sex life and we both want things to improve, I am hoping that would improve our connection all round but it's just getting to that point.....

I will try the suggestions made for sure.