My daughter is 6 months old and me and my husband have had sex...ONCE since she was born! We also stopped having sex the last 2 months of pregnancy as the idea of it freaked him out.
I don’t feel like our relationship is in trouble (yet) as we’ve been getting along better than ever and we’re very affectionate in terms of kisses and cuddles..but there’s zero sexual intimacy between us. We’ve both totally been on the same page..neither of us has wanted to so that’s good at least. Our daughter had been a terrible sleeper from day one so I think this is one of the main causes, we’ve both been totally shattered and with hardly any babysitting breaks until recently because of lockdown. My mum has just started to take her for a few hours here and there but usually in the day when he’s working.
To be honest we never had an amazing sex life pre baby..husband always had a problem with delayed ejaculation so you can imagine very long frustrations sex sessions coupled with new baby exhaustion are not a good combination. I think if we could have a quickie it wouldn’t seem like such a chore. Also because of his DE problems he struggles to relax at the best of times..this with a baby that frequently wakes means he can’t relax enough as we never know how long a window we’ll get. To be honest I think one of the reasons we’ve been getting on so great is because our sex like used to cause a lot of tension so it’s been a relief to have the pressure removed for both of us for a while. Tension because of the delayed ejaculation...and this also meant husband has to have sex in very specific way to get off and was very reluctant to try anything new and out of his comfort zone. We were going to seek counselling before we got pregnant so maybe we need to pick that back up. I love him to bits so it wouldn’t split us up but it’s something we’d both like to see improve.
Just no idea how to get things started again... we only even sleep in the same bed at weekends because he wouldn’t be able to function when he’s working the next day which I think has added to the lack of intimacy. My sex drive has just started to get better but when I’ve expressed interest he doesn’t even seem bothered anymore and I already feel a bit conscious of my altered body etc it’d be nice if he seemed interested. I’ve lost all the weight but things definitely look different!
Just a vent really but if anyone has any advice or went through something similar that’d be great.