I’ve never Climaxed!

[HylyHol3345]

Hi,
I’ve been reading some posts on here over the past month now and it’s really had me thinking that I’m in my early 30’s and I have yet to experience climaxing during foreplay/sex and I’m beginning to feel I’m really missing out. Ideally, I’d like to cum during foreplay because I know it would be much harder during PIV. My partner does go down on me (maybe not for long enough), he doesn’t use fingers during sex either, so I think it’s the lack of stimulation (i’d like to believe I can climax one day!)
So, where do I go from here, I suppose finding out what I like myself first, would be best?

Betty's a Goddess.

Rachel Swift is worth reading too.

Can you climax on your own? If so, the first thing to do is to masturbate until you climax with your partner in the same room. Once you can do that, the going will be easier.

To be honest, I’ve never tried to make myself climax, so yes that’s a good starting point I think, although i don’t feel confident to masturbate in front of my partner, so think it’s something I’ll do in private and then progress to involving my partner. I have been in relationships previously where foreplay was never a bit part of sex, so kind of accepted it how it was but reading these posts, I realise there’s so much more to it and I’ve been missing out.

Good luck.

To go forward, it’s important to discover your own body, only then can you positively share it with others i the best way.

Enjoy some “me time” and maybe consider investing in a small bullet vibey (about £10) to help you along the way.

Further down thd line, with confidence, you can ask your partner to share by holding you at the same time. You are also then not in his direct view.

In the longer term you will benefit from telling or showing your partner exactly what you want; communicate. And suggest he goes down on you for longer.

There are rainbows to discover out there.

@StarlightLady is right, although it was my DH who wanted to try a vib on me. I didn't have an issue having an orgasm but I was more reluctant about a vib as I hadn't experienced one

He bought one without telling me and one night after I had a bath, he gave me a massage. Went ages. Was super relaxed and his hands and fingers started going to intimate places. He told me what he had bought and would use just outside. So I let him. The feeling was amazing. It was a soft rubber type one and he didn't rush. I could easily have orgasmed like that but he went gradually and went from touching my vulva opening to gradually going inside. The vibrations are very intense and I think it would take a lot NOT to have an orgasm.

Yes if you are struggling try it yourself but a partner doing in a relaxed way is amazing. Oh and he loved doing it as well

OP, to add, if it is not stating the obvious, the focus should be on your clitoris.

Thanks so much for the replies, they’ve been so helpful! I have suggested sex toys in the past but partner has never been keen but maybe it’s something I can enjoy by myself. Are the bullets all the same @StarlightLady, or are their specific ones? Not familiar with sex toys.

I’m sure there is some variance but l think you’ll be fine as a “beginner”. I have the small purple Durex bullet. It’s light weight, fits in my makeup bag and quiet (l find noisey vibeys off putting) and hits the spot. I travel a lot for work (or at least, used to in”normal” times and one goes everywhere with me.

Definitely work in what you like yourself and then bring your partner into it. I second a bullet definitely a good addition

Do you ever get on top op?
It’s the only way I can achieve it

@Jellybeansincognito - Yes I’ve tried various positions, it just doesn’t happen for me, it doesn’t help that my partner doesn’t last long during PIV, so if I haven’t climaxed during foreplay, it won’t happen for me. I’m going to order a bullet as suggested and go from there

It's sad that the first time a gal orgasms is with a vibe and not a generous lover. I'm not against toys so don't get me wrong, but for the first time orgasm?? Come on.....

Try giving yourself a sensual massage OP.

Time it right so you're horny, take a long shower or bath, moisturise your body, lay on the bed, but some earphones on and soft music, explore your body all over. Discover where you like and where you don't like to be touched. Discover those areas that give you pleasure.
Find your G spot, explore the areas around your perineum, inner thighs so on and so forth. Fantasise about the most erotic situations you'd like to be in. Take your time and enjoy that which is divine.

[quote FartingNora]Can highly recommend reading everything on this website:

dodsonandross.com/[/quote]
Great reading - thank you!

I don't get why he doesn't finger you during foreplay. Do you mean not at all, or not vaginally? Vaginal fingering doesn't usually do much for me personally, but like being stroked etc.

Definitely practice on your own. I find magic wand toys hit the spot reliably. www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/magic-wand-vibrators/

@SoulofanAggron - He does finger me sometimes during foreplay (doesn’t do much for me though to be honest!) but what I mean is he doesn’t use his fingers during sex to stimulate my clit, which I think would help me climax but maybe it’s something I should be doing more during sex myself but he doesn’t last very long and by the time he has cum himself, it’s over for me and I never orgasm. I’ve never been with someone where foreplay has been a big part of sex and they have ensured I’ve climaxed before sex has finished. Maybe I’m expecting too much, I don’t know!

Www.omgyes.com

Join.

Thank me later.

@HylyHol3345 well tell him he needs to make sure you cum at least once before he comes. And if he comes before you do then he needs to make sure you finish. Get him to try different techniques. My partner uses his fingers on me before sex and oral and makes sure I cum at least once but generally more. He is first person to find my g spot using fingers or make me cum with oral. I've never had foreplay much before him but if it wasn't and I was in your boat I'd be having some talk to make sure my needs where met aswell

Welsh is totally right - OMGYes is the perfect thing for you (and your partner). I was pretty happy with my orgasms beforehand but holy crap. I have learnt so much from it.

A high majority of women don't orgasm through sex (just vaginally) I would experiment with clit and see where you go... some blokes have magic tough others don't. Oral is normally better but you have to be more relaxed. Or use a bullet / magic wand whilst he's inside.

Its a shame that there seems to be a lot of men who don't feel its important to make their partner orgasm during sex and foreplay. I good partner would make sure you orgasm first! I agree with other posters who have suggested buying a vibrator, or even using your fingers to make yourself cum. Once you know what you like you can tell him. However, if he still doesn't put in the effort, I personally wouldn't continue with the relationship. And no, you are really not expecting too much OP!