Personal use - toys

[bacireg]

Hi - last night I expressed to my H that I would like to buy myself a vibrator (mainly for personal use but he could also use on me) and he's really offended and it almost feels like he's gone in a huff with me.

I feel SO embarrassed and like I've gone something wrong. I've always been quite shy about sex and talking about exploring my own body even with him so I really plucked up the courage to say it.

He wanted to know why I want one, if it would affect our sex life and his ability to make me climax, he's told me they're too expensive (!?) and a million other excuses before saying in a deflated tone "if you want to then".

Surely this is normal to have as an adult female?! I'm now not sure if it was a big ask and if he's right to be offended????

He might feel for some reason that it will take his place in the bedroom and possibly please you more.
How would you feel like if he ordered something like a Fleshlight for himself, would you feel awkward about that?
You're right many adults use toys to enhance sexual pleasure together and for those moments alone and they can be great to find out what and where hits the spot.
He's nothing to worry about, get one and let him join in and watch once you are comfortable using it. I'm pretty sure he'll get over his initial insecurities.

my DH adores it when I use mine and let him watch/help , says he enjoys my climax as much as his own which usually follows mine , go for it .

OP,
I'd say he may have issues about his performance, and believes that he is not satisfying you.

Did this come out of the blue for him?

Tell him you still love him, that he more than satisfies you (you may have to lay this on a bit thick... ), and that the vibrator couldn't possibly replace the feel of something real - I'm sure you see where I'm going with this...

Personally, I'd have no issues if a partner wanted to buy or had toys. I think they add to sex, not take anything away.

It's an ego thing. As well as saying, in his eyes, "you can't satisfy me", you might also be wanting one that doubles as a big dildo.

Looking at something small, like a bullet, might help, but ultimately he needs to realise he doesn't "make you climax", he helps you come. This is just another help, not a replacement.

Yeah I think he's presumed it's to replace him or that I'm saying he's not enough but it's really not that!

Every woman should have at least one. The needs are totally different.

Please don’t let him persuade you otherwise.

I feel all guilty now 😩

Don't!

Nothing to feel guilty about. I travel a lot for work (or at least did until Covid) and never go anywhere without one.

At home, a waterproof one “lives” on the bathside.

They are important.

I've just ordered a waterproof one

@bacireg woohoo! Enjoy

Bathtimes will never be the same again, from the stress relief point of you after a busy day. 100% me time; perfect!