Hormones killing sex drive or just not right 😔

[Froggles1]

Hi everyone,

I’m just wondering if anyone experiences and change in sex drive around their cycle and also in general if hormones kill your sex drive?!
Since my little one (now 2.5) was around 1yo I have struggled with pms and it just seems to be getting worse 😔I only feel like sex approximately 1 day a month 😔 I’m not taking any hormonal contraceptives atm.
Also I don’t know whether this is lockdown or not but I feel quite disconnected from DP. I get annoyed with him over everything and just find things he says and does so frustrating even though I know at times I’m being irrational.
I don’t feel sexy so when he initiates sex or flirting I tend to bat him away.
I’m starting to worry we are not working 😔hoping it’s a rough patch. Has anyone experienced similar?! My sex drive was better 3 weeks post parting than it is now.

Hey, didn't want to read and run but I'm not sure I have any helpful advice, just my own experiences.

I can feel higher/lower in my drive depending on the time of the month, however I have been on the pill prior to currently being pregnant so maybe I don't have a true reflection of how I would be hormones wise?

Do you still find your partner attractive/aspects of him attractive? Do you feel attractive (I know you said you don't feel sexy sometimes) but if not? Why not? (Hope that doesn't come across as a stupid question but are there things you could do to work on it? Are you under any significant stress or a build up of life/routines/parenting that has chipped away the old normal excitement? The times I have felt lower in drive have been times when I haven't felt great about myself tbh or have been stressed.

Can you talk to your partner re this? Would he react well and try to support this rough patch?

Thank you for responding @GalaxyGirl24.
Yes I do find him attractive in many ways but I do sometimes let little things put me off (we are very comfortable so sometimes we’re not the most romantic!) we’re very different in that he is more outwardly loving and flirty whereas I’m not. I do think my body confidence is lower. I do exercise when I can and I’m slim but my body is different (not complaining as it carried my beautiful baby!)
He luckily is very easygoing and I can chat to him about most things I just don’t always want to say too much as don’t want to hurt him. I suffer anxiety & panic attacks which are not exactly good for sex drive either! I think I just read a lot into it if I’m not in the mood and worry about what it means. Good to know that others experience fluctuations around cycles. I just never noticed it affect me so much pre baby x

@Froggles1 That's good if he's quite easy going about things, hopefully he will pick up on you wanting to try and work on things! I think, if you've been together a long time, and things are routine and comfy rather than new and unknown, things can wax and wane as well! I've been with my husband 10 years since we were 17 yrs old and maybe after like 5/7 years and we'd done all the new big things, I found that things can be out of sorts for a month every so often and it can take a little while to get back in sync! And I'm sure that with a baby on the way this will be the case even more so! Like you say, it may well be due to lockdown, parenting in a stressful time and hormones maybe taking a while to stabilise! Sometimes, I can over analyse things too, and will panic about what it means for life/me/relationship, but then after a little while I realise there was no need. It sounds like you very much have a strong foundation to work on things. Maybe looking at what triggers anxiety/panic attacks for you together ?
X

@GalaxyGirl24 yes definitely! We have been together 5 years but things moved quite quickly as I guess we both knew what we wanted etc
Congrats on the baby! It really does bring you closer despite being tough at times to make time for each other.
Yes I think that’s a good idea. I know change is a big trigger for me and stress in general. I do think it’s unrealistic to expect a relationship to stay the same like you say it’s bound to wax and wane occasionally! I feel better for chatting it through ; thank you 😊

Thank you! And I'm glad you feel better for chatting! 💕

I hope you can get things back in sync with you and your partner as well, 🌸 I'm sure with time and patience you'll be able to work through this time!

Thank you 😊