No strings...

[HollyJenni]

Hello all.
Please don't judge me.
So I'm in my thirties, OH is in his 40's. We live a nice life with a young daughter and have been together for a decade.
We used to have great sex but since I became a mum, I'm not interested. We do bits but we don't have full sex.
Last year and early this year we took a break because I admitted I loved him but wasn't in love with him anymore.
About 3 years ago I met someone through work, we have always got on and then he gave me his number, presumably to be nice and now it's got to the point where basically he has said he wants to have casual no strings sex but never wants a relationship. He is absolutely gorgeous and very confident, ticks all the boxes.
What the hell do I do?

You need to leave your relationship and then you can sleep with whomever you wish

Not have my cake and eat it too?
I have a feeling my OH may be messaging someone from his work as well

I think if your single then no harm in some no strings fun. Whether or not your think your partner is messaging someone else I would either end things with him before taking the next step with someone else or have a discussion and see if an open relationship is something that would work for you both

If you get caught "having your cake", the ramifications could be very significant. Even if you and DH have agreed that your relationship is in trouble, and even if he's flirting with other people, he's likely to be incredibly hurt if he discovers you're cheating. Much better to have an amicable split than an acrimonious one, especially with a young child.

Either leave and date whoever you want or stay and don't.

NSA sex straight out of a relationship breakup can be a lovely distraction and boost to the confidence. But tread carefully...

I certainly would not judge you. What I would say is that we pass this way but once and this is not some dress rehearsal. I'd also state that we eventually regret the chances we could have taken, but didn't.

If your current relationship is in a state (and it sounds as though it is), I reckon the writing is on the wall.

Best wishes.

Are you still having sex with your OH? That would make the difference to me.

I think discuss between you whether to have an open relationship or separate and coparent, that is the best choice you have, then you might be able to scratch the itch and get your mojo back but be above board with it all firsy

Kind of back in this same situation.
the guy i mentioned ended up in a relationship with a woman and we still kept in touch on and off for the past 2 years. He is now single and it’s like the old feelings are back

sounds like things have not moved on for your Jenni.

did you have a conversation with OH about the relationship ?

it does sound like this guy has got inside your head .

Me and My OH have really struggled at times. On holiday we barely spoke, it was like we forgot how to be together.
quite often I do fantasise about being single and being allowed to leave the house when I want. I do feel quite trapped

Life is too short to be sat in limbo like this. You've not progressed in two years.

It sounds like your relationship is dead in the water. You need to deal with that before you start thinking about any other men.

The other guy sounds like a player. I'd steer clear until you're in a more secure, confident place. Don't use him as the distraction to your marital problems.

@HollyJenni

i would sorry about not being allowed to leave When you like

can you explain that more?

suremy you can go out when you want