Bleeding after anal play

[MrsRogerLima]

Ok, so long story short my DH is mad into butt stuff.
I really want to be able to offer this to him but whenever we have tried I have found him ahem too big to go further than the tip.
I bought myself a beginner's butt plug from Lovehoney.

www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28501

And have been practicing on my own 😳 to try to err expand my horizons 😂

I have managed with patience to insert twice now successfully but get a stretching pain each time and this time I have a small amount of bleeding.

This can't be right? I am using lots and lots of water based lube and making sure I'm relaxed. What am I doing wrong? Do i need a smaller one?

Sorry so much tmi 😂 anyone with experience to give advice would be appreciated.

It may be a better idea if you acquire a set of anal dilators. You can start off with something really small and gradually work your way up to bigger things. Butt plugs are not designed to help you accommodate something larger in your arse; some people do use them for that purpose, but it does not sound as though you are able to. Use the proper tool for the job, and you will be OK.

You could have internal hemorrhoids (piles), which obviously you can't see and you are not aware of. One of the major rules with anal play is any bleeding and you should stop immediately.

The plug you have chosen may not be the right shape for your body and also it's silicone which again, your body may not get on with. You would be much better with either glass or steel, something like:
www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=40364

or
www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=41200

These are small and once your body gets used to the sensation you can buy bigger ones. Just keep trying different shapes and designs until you find one that suits.

If you continue to bleed get it checked out with your GP. You could have problems that you are not aware of. It could be that anal play is just something your body isn't comfortable with.

Finally if your DH is mad about "butt stuff" tell him it's only fair you get to to do the same to him.

You shouldn’t bleed, do you bleed when you go to the toilet?

A few things when ‘expanding your horizons’
-When you put something in you need to push out a bit with your bum, it will open your bum. You can learn to relax so you don’t have to push, but that can take a while so its easier to just push at first. Then you push out each time he pushes in a bit more for the initial penetration, its completely normal for penetration to take 5-10 minutes, even if you’re a pro. Some people can take it one go, others can’t.
-You don’t go from like virtually no attention in that area to full penetration, I’m guessing you wouldn’t usually have penetrative sex and no other attention in that area? Its the same, penetration should be the last thing after a whole lotta fun in tbat area, but that also means lots of things like oral and fingers for quite a while before you’re ready for penetration
-some people slowly use slightly bigger sex toys, I don’t as I don’t like the idea of sex toys at all, but they’re fine as are fingers
-silicone based lubes are good as your body doesn’t absorb them so you don’t need much at all, gun oil is really good
Positions like doggy or on top are a no no for a beginner, spooning or even laying on your front are good at first

@achillesratty nooooooo I have absolutely 0 interest in going anywhere near my DH bumhole!

Thank you for the advice. I think I have tried to jump from 0-10 by the sounds of it. I'll look at some of those links and rethink.

I think I'd give it up all together and just refuse. Trying to prise open your backside with instruments that make you bleed, in order to do what your husband wants? Erm, no ...... just no ......

@ponchek each to their own ☺️ I am happy to explore what's possible and open minded in most avenues to satisfy husbands desires.

It's not for everyone, so please don't feel it's necessary for you to participate.

Vibration is a really useful tool to help relax your muscles so would be worth considering that.

As PP said, lots of play around that area including perineum should help.

It takes time and practice. Don't just go shoving things up there! 😂

Try doing it with poppers.

I use analyse me lube, it is the absolute best, give that a go 😉
Water based lubes made it really uncomfortable for me, since switching to this I LOVE anal.
It’s safe with condoms too, if you wanted to use them.

What you are doing wrong is that you are hurting yourself - literally making yourself bleed - in an effort to please someone else. That is not great. Stop it and tell him this isn’t for you.

I like anal but if I have it with anyone that average to bigger then average it always hurts for the first few seconds. I just grin and bear it and tell them to go slow for a while and then it gets better but that might not be an option for all