Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Original poster

Viagra - what's going on

16 replies

Jellybelly15 · 29/05/2020 08:41

My dp has a stash of viagra. He gets it on repeat prescription and never ends up using it so he has a big stockpile. I know he has it because I found it while cleaning out the drawers one day. I think he knows that I know but we have never had a proper conversation about it. I don't want to bring t up because it's perhaps something he feels a bit embarrassed about.

Anyway I've noticed pills missing from some packs. But we haven't had sex. Obviously in normal times this might be a cause of concern but he's literally been nowhere and seen nobody so what's going on? He doesn't take them for any other medical reason. The only thing I can think is that he's planned to initiate something and then hasn't. Or do men use them for masturbating? I don't know.

I'm really confused and wish I could just come out and ask him but it's quite a sensitive subject. Our sex life overall is very irregular (due to his alleged low libido) and I'm just sick of not being able to communicate about sex. But I feel like a lot of it is due to his issues - low libido, ED - and I don't want to pressure or embarrass him but I'd like to understand what's happening and why he's taking the pills at least.

OP posts:
Littlemix1 · 29/05/2020 09:40

You need to talk to him. Keeping quiet isn't going to solve any issues and will start to wear you down. Can't imagine using it for masturbation, he could be selling to mates? Popular in workplace.

Original poster
Jellybelly15 · 29/05/2020 09:48

I really don't think it's that. I can't really ask without making it look like I'm snooping. Which I suppose I have been. He is a good communicator usually but with anything like this it just seems really awkward and difficult to discuss.

OP posts:
xpc316e · 29/05/2020 10:04

If he has a large stockpile and is selling it to workmates, then logic says that he would sell a whole packet, and not an odd tablet here and there.

He may well use it for masturbation.

I think that you really do need to open avenues of communication with him, and not just on this topic. If a married couple cannot be honest enough to talk about their own sexual desires and needs, then it does not sound like much of a relationship. Talking about these things can help to turn the marriage into something worthwhile that benefits both parties, so as tough as it is you do need to talk.

waterSpider · 29/05/2020 10:04

Since you need to take such pills a little while before sex, could he be anticipating sex some nights that doesn't then take place? [you suggest that, and it seems plausible, certainly if he has a stash]

Original poster
Jellybelly15 · 29/05/2020 10:13

@waterSpider I do think that's the most likely explanation. I think most women would be a bit Hmm at their partner using viagra when they aren't having sex though...

Regarding the communication yes it's a big problem and something I really need to try and work on with him. Just don't really know where to begin

OP posts:
xpc316e · 29/05/2020 11:07

A very good way to start is to state that you need to talk about the problem, but that you don't want to apply any pressure to do so right there and then. State that you need to have had a talk within say a week and then allow the other person to come to you at a time when they have thought it through. A couple of times during the week you can ask whether they have decided on a time and place in order to remind them that the condition t discuss the matter still stands.

travellinglighter · 30/05/2020 20:39

Actually I know a couple of people who will sell them to you for a fiver a tablet.

SimplySteveRedux · 30/05/2020 23:30

He gets it on repeat prescription

There are very few medical conditions that allow the issue of Viagra on rx. Do you know how he's getting it?

Original poster
Jellybelly15 · 31/05/2020 09:01

@SimplySteveRedux yes it's definitely on prescription, I have seen the prescription sheets and even picked them up for him a few times.

OP posts:
concertlover · 31/05/2020 15:08

I've been having 4 tablets a month on repeat prescription because of my prostate cancer treatment about 6 years ago. Free because of my age. I started on Sildenafil (Viagra is the best known brand) but I switched to Vardenafil (best known brand is Levitra) because I find they are effective for longer & also not as adversely affected by having a big meal. My wife knows about them & that I keep them in our medicine drawer. I also have amassed a stockpile because our marriage has been virtually sexless for a long time. I will take one if my wife sends out signals beforehand that she might be 'in the mood' later!
I could continue but I'll stop there for now. Feel free to ask for more info or thoughts on your predicament.

Original poster
Jellybelly15 · 31/05/2020 15:56

@concertlover I don't think this is due to any other medical condition that I know of. I think with him it is purely a low desire/libido thing. He has told me this himself. He had his testosterone checked which was normal so I think it's purely mental or emotional. But as far as I'm aware viagra doesn't increase libido it just enables someone to maintain an erection.

Our sex life is irregular, once a month at best and I'm starting to feel that maybe it's me who just doesn't do it for him.

OP posts:
concertlover · 31/05/2020 16:24

"But as far as I'm aware viagra doesn't increase libido"

Correct. But it can give a man that extra bit of confidence with his erection. It may be psychological.

concertlover · 31/05/2020 16:28

I agree that it's not easy to talk to your partner about the lack of sex without sounding as if you are blaming them.

labazsisgoingmad · 31/05/2020 16:30

due to his diabetes my partner gets it free he had some at first to take when the occasion dtd arose but never worked so GP suggested taking one a day every day. sort of build up in his system and by God it does work!
maybe the GP has suggested that as well to your husband and yes you can buy at the chemist now off prescription but a lot of people are quite happy to buy off mates. a tenner for a pack of four we have been offered

TalbotAMan · 01/06/2020 18:38

Viagra has been available on NHS prescription in England generally since about 2016 when it came out of patent and the price to the NHS dropped dramatically. You don't need to have one of the specified conditions any more; just a sympathetic GP. Prescription quantities are still limited, which seems surprising as the NHS pays around 30p per tablet, depending on strength. It is prescribed as the generic siledanfil but in my experience 'real' viagra is often supplied.

He could be, as you suggest, either using them to masturbate or in the hope of sex. As has been mentioned, there is some medical evidence that daily viagra can refresh the system and reduce ED.

There's also a possibility that by increasing the bio-availability of nitric oxide, viagra may have an effect against coronavirus!

SynchroSwimmer · 04/06/2020 00:36

In answer to your question OP, I do know of 2 separate chaps who both tell me that use them as a “hobby” - they both view taking them as a legitimate “solo leisure activity” ... 😊

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread