How long does it usually last for you?

[Sussed]

Just that really. For those in a stable relationship, how long do you (honestly!) find sex usually lasts?

If I'm trying to give SW an orgasm, then typically 45mins of foreplay including a lot of oral, then I will finish off with about 10-15 mins of PIV until she either dries up or I get bored. I'm on ADs and can't orgasm so could go on all night, or all in all, about 1 hour.

If we decide that it's too much trouble to give her an orgasm and don't fancy the ordeal, then normally 15-20 mins of foreplay and 10-15 mins of foreplay, again, until she dries up or I get bored, so about 30 mins ish all told.

So neither of you usually orgasm, Prawn? But do you still find it enjoyable? 10-15 mins is quite a long time for PIV, do you manage to stay fully hard that whole time? Interesting to hear from others.

Correct, I never do anymore due to the ADs and DW maybe 1 in 3 times if we put the time and effort into it - it's a marathon chore, and whilst its enjoyable from a being close perspective, it's deeply frustrating and unfulfilling, more on my part than DWs as she doesn't know any different, having always struggled to orgasm.

I've never had any erectile difficulties and could go on as long as necessary if I thought it'd do any good. If I thought an hour of PIV would help her orgasm, that wouldn't be an issue for me at all, as long as she was wet and enthusiastic.

www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-long-should-sex-last#overview
might be of interest.
"Vaginal sex typically lasts three to seven minutes, according to a 2005 Society for Sex Therapy and Research member survey.

According to the survey, vaginal sex that lasts one to two minutes is “too short.” Vaginal sex that lasts 10 to 30 minutes is considered “too long.”"

If we are talking about the actual PIV sex then ours usually lasts around twenty minutes with a few position changes to accommodate my shoulder pains. Foreplay is subject to too many variables for me to say with any accuracy how long it lasts.

Just for context, we are M63, F53, and have been together for 17 years.

If I'm trying to give SW an orgasm, then typically 45mins of foreplay including a lot of oral, then I will finish off with about 10-15 mins of PIV until she either dries up or I get bored. I'm on ADs and can't orgasm so could go on all night, or all in all, about 1 hour.

If we decide that it's too much trouble to give her an orgasm and don't fancy the ordeal, then normally 15-20 mins of foreplay and 10-15 mins of foreplay, again, until she dries up or I get bored, so about 30 mins ish all told.

This made me feel so sad, it sounds such a chore and going through the motions. Do you manage to feel connected at all, or is it as mechanical as it sounds? Sorry to sound negative I just felt so sad for you both reading that description of your sex life, it sounds like the connection is missing.

@bunbunbun

Yeah, it's pretty much as it sounds. DW is fairly okay with things as she knows no different from her perspective. She wishes she could orgasm more easily, but no matter what we try - solo, toys, oral, manual etc, it's just a marathon, that quite frankly, bores me to tears after about 15 mins or so as I know what lies ahead. By the time it happens, if it does, I'm just no longer in the mood and she can't do anything for me at the same time as it puts her off.

DW isn't concerned about my lack of orgasm from her own confidence and self esteem perspective as she knows it's the drugs, but feels bad for my lack of pleasure.

From my point of view, it's just deeply unfulfilling and unsatisfying. I had a magnificent sex life with a previous partner so I know what it can be like and I really miss that feeling, that connection, that mutual journey to a wonderful outcome. The connection, the deep spark is just not there.

Sad thing is that sex is really important to me. As is my DW.

It's a rubbish position to be in with no satisfactory outcome in sight.

We typically spend about an hour or so in the evening and about two hours in the morning.

We don't live together & make the most of our weekends
DP can last as long as he wants as he's not very sensitive. I can just keep coming.

I'm sorry for your situation, prawn. I'm not showing off, just answering the thread question.

Five children at home during lockdown so maybe 5 minutes of foreplay and two minutes of silent sex currently.
Surprisingly, I manage to orgasm most times but DH and I have it down to a fine art after nine years together.
Pre lockdown it could last fifteen minutes of foreplat followed by ten minutes of PIV. I actually much prefer a quickie.

Anywhere between 10-30 minutes. Mostly foreplay, as once PIV begins neither of us lasts more than a minute or two (just too good!), although we will alternate between this, oral, kissing, touching, usually finishing with a short burst of PIV.

I can’t imagine lasting longer than that unless we’d had sex the previous day. We usually only do it once a month for various reasons, so we are both very, um, keen to get going

Anywhere between 10 minutes to an hour or so. I’m one of the fortunate few women who can come through PIV with no foreplay or other stimulation so if all we have time for is a quickie then we can both get off in 10-15 minutes from cold. If we can be leisurely about it we’ll take our time with a few different positions, oral, playing etc. and DP can hold off whilst I come two or three times.

We’re remarkably compatible. I’d be disappointed if sex was always either really quick or took so long I got bored.

Given we read that so many women cannot orgasm through PIV, yet the last 4 posters appear to be able to.

I miss it so much. :(

Hey, I just thought I'd add my experiences.
I have never orgasmed.
Not through lack of trying, either alone or with my DH, it's never happened.
PIV is enjoyable, especially if I'm really in the mood, i like the connection, the full feeling and the stimulation, but no where near close to what I think an orgasm should feel like.
He could (and does) down on me, I shiver, I shake, I moan, but no big finish.
I've tried toys, wands, dildos, butt plugs. Nothing.
Foreplay is as long as we've got depending on how tired we are, if the kids are in bed or just napping (2 young DC), and what we're in the mood for. I'd say we're quite adventurous and there isnt anything he wouldn't try if he thought it would get me off.
PIV is around 5 to 10 minutes and then he cums.
That's what spells the end for us.
I know he regularly gets upset with himself that he can't get me to orgasm (though I think it's more something wrong with me, than him).
I'm still regularly in the mood, sex makes me feel sexy, watching him enjoy himself makes me feel sexy, but I know from his end he says he doesn't know when to move in from foreplay because hes knows I'm never done, unless I get bored or tired, because with no climax he wonders why I want it at all.
I just thought another perspective would help.

Princess pain have you tried porn/erotic fiction/knowing what gets you close to the edge without even touching yourself? Have you ever woken up climaxing? I think until you are there mentally some women (myself included) can't get there physically. It also sounds like the physical pressure of vibrators are too much. Try using your own fingers on your own and also different positions lying on your back/side/front etc.

Usually only see my partner at the weekend or once or twice in the week (when things are normal) - we switch between lots of foreplay and PIV. Length varies from between 20mins to once we were at it for 2hours after we hadn't seen each other for a long period & we just wanted to enjoy each other. He always makes sure I come at least 2 times before he finishes.

He has some ED issues which I know he takes some tablets for but it's never an issue and I always make sure we have fun regardless - I literally can't get enough of him. It's the most fulfilling sexual relationship I've had so far.