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Hubby doesn't want to touch me- now calls me wench...

14 replies

gemzitab · 23/04/2020 20:15

Hey I'm looking for some advice.
My hubby doesn't want to be intimate anymore.
I've had two children with him and the only time he ever wants to be intimate (which is me giving oral) is when we have had some drugs.

Apart from that relationship wise we don't do anything romantic anymore. I do everything for him from pairing his socks washing cooking cleaning, keeping the kids perfectly looked after, bringing cups of tea, lunches and doing whatever he asks of me. There's not really much relationship left we are not intimate (so I feel ugly worthless and u appreciated) and when we are just ourselves I feel like I'm only ever 'useful' is the word I pick. I don't feel adored, I don't feel idolised- I feel like the man I love with all that I am knows I love him so much and I've become nothing but useful.... not even idolised or respected anymore

In a bit down already anyway but lately I just feel so rejected (unless we have drugs then I get to perform oral for hours and he won't even touch my body back in any passionate form at all) which I don't want...

I don't want to 'want' to have drugs to feel appreciated or gain love from my other half. I just want to be wanted back.
I look after everybody in my household to the max and ignore myself and my own needs in the process and nobody bats an eyelid when I'm run down or exhausted.
I just want a hug and to feel loved in a relationship type way.
What am I doing wrong. I make sure I look beautiful all the time for him and that he never has to lift even a finger and I can't figure out why I'm not good enough to be shown what love intimate or passionate feels like anymore.

I feel relationship lost
Any advice on what I can do please let me know

I love my man with all my heart I just wish I was appreciated back and worry what I've done wrong to mean I am am not

OP posts:
Dragongirl10 · 23/04/2020 20:20

Its not you, its him. Leave him.

Louise000000 · 23/04/2020 21:42

He sounds awful, you deserve better!

PinotPony · 23/04/2020 22:36

"What am I doing wrong? He never has to lift a finger."

And that, my lovely, is what you're doing wrong...

Hotpinkangel19 · 24/04/2020 07:38

What drugs do you take?

Normalmumandwife · 24/04/2020 11:08

Great. So he doesn't want to have sex wit you unless you give me a BF...takes drugs and disinterested. I think he is giving you a strong message there.

Suggest you get rid, find yourself and then find someone that values you more and does want to desire you and have sex a sort of a loving relationship, not this twat!

Normalmumandwife · 24/04/2020 11:08

Sorry give him!

PrawnSacrifice · 24/04/2020 13:15

Sorry, I heard two children and their parents taking drugs.

I think you have bigger issues to address before you tackle any sex problems.

Pogmella · 25/04/2020 16:13

Are the drugs prescribed?

Arnoldthecat · 26/04/2020 19:55

It constantly amazes me what some women suffer in their relationships.

Candyfloss99 · 27/04/2020 23:40

Why on earth are you doing everything for him? He sees you as a maid not as a sexual person. Pairing someone's socks for them and doing everything will not make you attractive and why on earth would you find a man attractive who lets you do all this? Get rid of him and start again and this time have some self respect and don't be the dogsbody.

Marriedtoapenguin · 28/04/2020 07:46

For once I agree with the LTB comments. He's an absolute knob. Seriously, find someone who actually gives a monkeys about you.

balonzz · 28/04/2020 08:35

I just wondered, have you considered he might be gay? I mean, he's obviously an idiot too with the not pulling his weight around the house.

Alonelonelyloner · 28/04/2020 17:00

Breathe deeply. Take the kids. Leave the drugs. Leave him.

You love someone who does NOT love you.
Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't cherish you. Do you want to waste more time on this?
It's not like you need to discuss this with him; a decent person would not treat another like this. He's a shit.

ponchek · 29/04/2020 05:36

Sex therapy. Or crying and pouring your heart out to him?

The first step needs to be telling him. In no uncertain terms. Because currently the feedback he gets is that you love him stacks. So he presumes you must be happy enough with what he does or doesn't do.

Tell him.

Then of course it will be a question of if/how he steps up. But that's another thread.

I'm sorry, OP, as you will have felt very lonely in this. Just tell him. Don't be alone with it.

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