How do I know?

[yelyahyoung]

How do I know if my fiancé masturbates or watches porn? I don’t think he does and he says he doesn’t, and it doesn’t bother me, I’m just curious lol. I think ‘well all men do it, right?’ but tbh I don’t think that’s strictly true. Not all men do.
We are pretty much always together, don’t hang out in different rooms or whatever, he’s quick in the shower, leaves his phone lying around if he leaves the room, etc... and when we have sex he doesn’t particularly last overly long, but if he were to masturbate surely he would last longer? He’s not always overly into sex either. I just don’t think he has a massive libido. It may have something to do with his last horrible relationship of which they actually didn’t have sex or be intimate with each other in any way for about 4 years.
We had sex loads in the beginning, and then after a year or so it was a couple/few times a week. Then I fell pregnant so we didn’t have sex for the last few weeks, then 5 weeks after baby was born. I ‘helped him out’ during these times but he didn’t seem overly bothered if he went without. He never does lol. I really don’t think he has other means to please himself, I just think he doesn’t have the biggest libido? He is 39. Oh and he’s defo not cheating, we are very much in love and in love with our DD, and plus he’s always busy with work and DIY in the house lol :)

I think ‘well all men do it, right?’ but tbh I don’t think that’s strictly true. Not all men do.

You are right, not all men do. The only time I watch it is when both me and my wife watch it together and that is very infrequent, it's sometimes just to spice things up a little every now and then.

I couldn't think of anything more boring than watching it all the time and to be honest, I've got better things to be doing with time on my own.

I think OP was referring to the that ‘all men matsterbate’ rather than watch porn.

Are you saying you don’t have the odd wafty crank @philcornwall1?

@PhilCornwall1 I agree, it is boring and there are a lot better things to be doing in spare time lol. Thanks for your answer. But yes, like @LadShropshire said, don’t you?

Are you saying you don’t have the odd wafty crank

Shouldn't have read that drinking coffee, I've had some come out my nose!!

Believe it or not, I don't, I've got pretty bad Rheumatoid Arthritis and amongst other joints, it's buggered up my wrists and hands, so the old "five knuckle shuffle" is right off the agenda. I've had it so long, don't even think about it now to be honest.

@yelyahyoung the old hands don't work properly as I've put in a previous post. Mind you, it is great being married in this situation

Most men masturbate, its natural and healthy. You say your not bothered if he does so sit down and talk to him.
Be open and say if he does watch it youd like watch it with him and see what his reaction is

Why do you want to know if he masturbates? That’s his business, surely?

Whether he does or not is up to him. Being a guy i think most guys do but i could be wrong. Its also good for prostate health to ejaculate regularly.

And good to help ward of corona

www.nhs.uk/news/cancer/frequent-ejaculation-may-decrease-prostate-cancer-risk/

One reason my partner is willing to give prostate massage/play a go as well as the fun side to it.

I see. Sorry to hear that @PhilCornwall1! But yes at least you are married
And everyone else, I never said I had a problem with it! I suppose one reason I would like to know is because he doesn’t seem frustrated or whatever if we don’t have sex, like men are ‘supposed’ to be. But as I say I don’t imagine he has an opportunity to because we are always together and in the same room, and he is always busy! The only time would be in the shower but he is always pretty quick, and I’ve heard sperm and water don’t mix well hence why a lot of men don’t do it there lol. So I guess, men, where do you find the opportunity to?!
We are open with each other and we have spoken about it before just out of interest, and I do believe he doesn’t watch porn as he said he found it boring and he ‘isn’t a teenager anymore’ lol, but I just thought most men masturbate. He just doesn’t have a very high libido, but will have sex. That’s if he’s not tired lol. He said he didn’t even watch porn or masturbate when he and his partner (who didn’t have sex for the last 4 years of their relationship, nor did they live together) were together, again because of his libido and I think he was quite down.
Anyway I’m rambling. Lol

Plus he doesn’t last very long in bed so uh, could that be related to not masturbating... as in, wouldn’t he go longer if he did masturbate? Especially if he learned more control over where he’s at.

Not lasting long in bed doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with porn. Perhaps he just really gets turned on by you!

Why don’t you just believe him when he tells you he isn’t into porn? Trust is important.

@pussgirl I think he does lol. Of course I trust him! I’m not talking about porn anymore lol I’m asking for opinions on men and masturbation really

well do you?

Man here, once upon a time, masturbation was pretty much a once a day thing.

I'm now on ADs which has stopped me being able to orgasm and now I don't masturbate at all as there's no point, so I've not not masturbated or had any kind of orgasm in over 6 months.

Many years ago when my best mate and I were divorced and single and on the pull at the same time, he told me he didn't and never had masturbated, even as a teen (he also didn't want to receive or give oral!) whereas I was a regular wanker. Even when I was getting sex 5, 6, 7 nights a week, whenever I had some time to myself I would masturbate - it's sometimes nice to be selfish and enjoy the feelings you get from ejaculation without having to worry about someone else's pleasure and orgasm. These days, married again and much older, it varies and strangely enough, I usually do it more the more active we are as a couple. And not always in private/secret.