Newly separated...sex

[Darksoul]

Hi

I’m newly separated, made a mess of the end of my long marriage. Feeling bruised.

However, I am desperate to have sex. It’s been 10 weeks, and going to be a lot longer I’m sure. I am usually highly sexed. Pleasuring myself is ok..but I want the real thing.

I do not want a relationship, I don’t want anyone in my home. I seem to think sex equals love - I don’t want anyone ‘in’ my life. And we’re on lockdown.

Not sure what I’m asking here really.

I too am newly separated, with my partner 42 years, I’m 61, really good for 61. Female. I love sex too so I got on Tinder, but other sites are good too, you can state casual, so people know what you mean 😉not looked back! It’s great I don’t go over 45! There’s not much you can do at the moment! Lots of us in the same boat.

When things return to normal, what are your friendships like? Given the right situation there is nothing wrong with having sex with a good friend(s). The trust is already there, neither is personal safety a problem. it’s a case of establishing ground rules.

There is a risk of one of you falling for each other, but anything involving intimacy comes with risks.

(Waves at StarlightLady )

58 year old male here, and very much in the same boat.

It's MUCH MUCH easier for women to find someone to have casual sex with than it is for a man.

Obviously, it's impossible to meet anyone at the moment, but put yourself on dating sites, use words like "looking for fun", and you will be inundated... Be prepared to fend off a lot of married guys, and expect pictures of male genitallia...

There are sites like Fabswingers that cater for purely casual sex meeting, but the same issues apply. There are hundreds of "single" (and I use the word advisedly) guys on these sites, all looking for a connection. If you go that route, be sure to set your filters properly, set your boundaries, and stick to them, and you'll be fine.

or pm me

After leaving a looonng relationship..how do you find you have a connection to have sex with someone? I married very young, so didn’t have any one night stands. Meeting someone online..how do you know you fancy them?

I’m worried I can’t have sad without the feelings. But I don’t want the feelings 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Darksoul the key to meeting people on line is to meet them as soon as possible for a drink or a coffee. You will know within mins if you fancy them or not.

Op,
as Jane1978x says, you need to meet them in person ASAP. (once this is all over - if ever!)

A picture and profile can only tell you so much, and people (mainly men, but also women) lie like no-bodies business on dating sites to get laid - and you'll never hear from them again...

At least with the site I mentioned previously, people are open and honest about what they are looking for, if not always their status.

Whatever you do, tread with caution, and always have an exit strategy. (Sad, isn't it...)

Not everyone can have sex without feelings. If you don't think you can separate them (and men definitely can), then casual sex may not be for you.

Of course, you may have to try it, to see if you can separate feelings away from sex...