I’m a bit nervous to post here so please be gentle!
DH and I have been together 10 years, were in our early 30s
A few years ago I had some health problems that led to us unable to have sex.
I then also had some MH issues and frankly could barely get out of bed never mind think of having sex.
During that period (about 18 months) we kissed and cuddled and remained close in other ways but no sex
Since then everything has been resolved but it’s hard to get things back up and running again.
We’ve tried a few things, but as my health issues lingered for a while sometimes that would get in the way for a few weeks again and then it was like we were back at square one.
We both also go away for work regularly, meaning again we got out of any routines and normal sex life we managed to get into.
Now it’s been so long since we had a normal sex life that we both know it’s an issue (and can talk about it openly together) But its created an awkwardness around initiating sex. And if we do, because it’s been so long since we have done it / so infrequent it’s just doesn’t feel quite as natural.
Sex used to be great, now don’t get me wrong it’s still ok, but sometimes can feel a bit forced and awkward - because we both want so much to get things back on track it’s become a pressure! But that awkwardness makes us not in a rush to do it again!
We’ve tried taking sex off the table all together too, but that didn’t help either.
Please no LTBs that I see on these threads normally, everything else is amazing and we both actively want to work on this, it was just my health that messed things up for us and now it’s become a bit of a psychological block but any advice on how we can get over this?!