Am I being OTT

[gizabreak]

OH just initiated sex (this is rare as he doesn't seem to have a high sex drive) anyway we start to DTD and he tells me how we'll do it later too. He then tells me he's already had a wank this morning - I've no issue with that.

Because I've stopped taking contraception he then tells me he doesn't want to do it anymore as he can't finish in me and that was that game over.

I'm feeling really rejected and emotional now like I'm not good enough - I've already got body confidence issues. I feel absolutely shit now like he decided mid sex that there was no point.

Tell him you also pleasured yourself too....might make him feel bit useless to teach him a lesson.

I'm a little bit confused. If he doesn't have a high sex drive, he's initiated sex, already had a wank plus he's talking about doing it again later. That seems pretty high to me. Anyway, apart from that, did you come off contraception for a reason? Is he maybe scared you get pregnant? I'm sure it's not you if he's so keen on having sex with you, there must be another reason.

@cherry111 he really doesn't have a high sex drive and instances like today are a first!
I came off contraception because I've been on it for a long time and my body needs a break from it.
I just feel like he initiated it then halfway through decided he'd changed his mind. I was just left feeling frustrated and a bit worthless if I'm honest. (I'm aware I'm sounding a bit OTT here) he knows I'm upset and apparently I've made him feel like shit about it now.

@justaordinarybloke I might just do that!

TBH think he might of had a contraceptive panic if he's got hard enough to start shagging the fact he's just had a wank doesn't come into it

Hang on, let me get this straight.

You are taking a break from your contraception. This happened prior to the spontaneous sex with your DH and he was aware of it.

Then your usually fairly muted DH comes over a bit fruity and initiates sex with you. During this sex he tells you he has masturbated earlier that day and also that he plans to have sex with you later, too.

However, he then stops the sex abruptly under the guise of the lack of contraceptive cover. Which presumably he knew about beforehand as he talks about ‘not finishing inside you’ (incidentally, you should be using condoms or another barrier method for PIV during your break from hormones, not relying on withdrawal).

It doesn’t make much sense.

Mind you, anyone can withdraw consent to sex at any point and so if he decided he no longer wanted it then that’s his choice. I can how it would be confusing and hurtful though, as his partner. I think you need to sit down and actually talk to him about it rather than go tit for tat. If it is a (valid) pregnancy fear then it needs to be discussed calmly and maturely.

Sorry, that should say,

“I can SEE how it would be confusing and hurtful...”

The whole thing sounds suspiciously contrived. Is it possible the whole thing was a nasty, planned way of emotionally punishing you for coming off contraception?

We spoke about the situation over the weekend. He doesn't see what my issue is! Obviously the further promised sex later that day didn't happen. I got quite angry that I feel like I have to be the person who is responsible for the contraception and I've said if he's not willing to wear a condom then that's fine but we won't be DTD.

He definitely wasn't punishing me in anyway for not taking contraception but I still feel at a loss as to what happened - or didn't happen.