AIBU sex related He watched the brits

[Alfiemoon1]

Dh has implied he’s up for it all day brushing past me innuendos we have teen dc dd away at uni but comes home at weekends ds 15 it’s half term ds gets invited to watch a football match so we have the house to ourselves dh goes for a bath makes comments we have the house to ourselves I gave him a kiss while he was in the bath suggested a nice expensive bubble bath then leave him to it to clean up after dinner then have a shower thinking it’s game on I was upstairs a while putting on various lotions and he usually comes up if he’s interested no he didn’t so I go down in no not sexy lingerie but also not my thick fleece winter pjs and sit next to him we usually sit on different sofas and he’s sat there all night chunnering watching the brits moaning he’s not heard of any of them

Ds is now home they are both off I have work tomorrow morning I know dh will come to bed an hour or so after me and try it on which as having teenagers is usually are only chance but I feel miffed he didn’t make the most of ds being out and not sure if it’s when he’s had a few drinks which he has tonight it takes ages for him to come despite things being quite intense
Obviously I could of made it clearer but he didn’t pursue it at all and although I would happily participate a late night quickie would do but the thought of a mammoth session when I have work in the morning is rather off putting

For context he works permanent nights rolling shift pattern I work full time days we are like ships that pass in the night plus we have teen dc so have very little chance to be intimate

It reads as though you didn't really give him a clear message that you wanted to have sex. From what you've typed, you gave him a kiss, had a shower then put on not sexy pjs and sat next to him.
Couldn't you have made it more obvious?
Unless this is how you normally go about things

It does read as though he may have tried to drop hints, hence your expectations, but that you may not have reciprocated enough for him to realise you were up for it?

Especially as you say you'd like sex but not a long session as you have to work. It comes across as something that becomes a bit of a chore unless it's done under certain conditions, and whilst it's fine to feel that way, if your DH is picking up on that, it could feel like you're just not interested?

You sound like every mans dream woman (well...most) apart from your husband. Tell him what you've told us in your post...might just need a wakeup call.

Maybe he didn't feel like it at that evening?

I'm just imagining a gender reverse and what the responses would be?

why didnt you just say something or sit next to him and rub his legs etc .. or jump on him! Does he always have to initiate ?

Maybe he got the vibe you weren't interested (upstairs a long time, no sexy underwear) and just chilled out. You, I'm guessing sat passively and watched the TV too? You didnt say or suggest anything sexy so he probably thinks everything is dandy!

Communicate. Initiate!!

I think this highlights the issue:

"Obviously I could of made it clearer but he didn’t pursue it at all and although I would happily participate a late night quickie."

Have experienced the same from my wife. She has sometimes sat next to me - and has put on the lingerie I love to see her wear and sat next to me all buttoned up in her pj's.

Like you we have long days and early starts. If she'd been a bit clearer then the TV would have got turned off instantly. All she would have had to do is unbutton her top and give me a peek. It's like the 'bat signal' or something.

I think many of us were raised to try and be gentlemen to some extent. I won't initiate with my wife if she's had a stressful day or is tired or not feeling her best. I prefer her to let me know. It does not always work well I have to say.

It's a turn on to be teased by a confident woman. I've enjoyed things in the past where the woman has challenged me to initiate almost, or sent very clear signals that she is in the mood.

Hand on my thigh then moving up for a squeeze is often a very good indicator.

Perhaps a brief parade in lace topped holdups would have had him reaching for the off button on the remote..

Turning the tv off yourself would have made it clear you wanted attention.

I very seldom initiate as the rejection just gets old, so if my DW wants some, she has to let me know, and in advance.

But in a strange twist, because I have some background resentment over the imbalance and frequent (historic, as I don't initiate much any more) rejection, her just turning the TV off or flashing some underwear doesn't cut it.

She'll need to talk to me first, bond emotionally and get us on the same page before I can be seduced by a flash of bra or a glimpse of thigh.

It goes both ways.

A parade in lace top stockings would definitely work for me as would a flash of bra. TV would be OFF!

You both need to communicate better, especially when timing is an issue and the opportunity of a free house is rare.