Cowgirl

[Booobarella]

NC for this one😬

I've been with dh for 10 years, I don't go on top often, I lack confidence, I'm a size 14, and have that annoying saggy mummy pouch that claps at me when I get into it thanks kids , and I don't really know what I'm doing. He's said he don't like the 'grinding' stuff, but he is always eager for me to climb on and take the lead for a change, but I alway feel like an idiot and we end up stopping and change positions. has anyone got any fail proof tips so I don't ended up looking like an idiot?

The only place you look like an idiot is in your own imagination. The sexiest thing a woman can have is not a washboard stomach, but confidence. He loves you (I hope) and when you are sat astride him I expect that he will be looking up at you and thinking you are absolutely gorgeous.

Just throw caution to the winds and forget about what you consider to be imperfections.

There is no right or wrong, its what works for you both, as for the "mummy pouch" be proud of it, your husband should too, so get bouncing away and enjoy.

If you feel a little self concious you can face the other way for the first time

I haven't got any confidence, and dh says he loves my stomach but I think it's revolting And it's such a turn off

My ex was the same, at a 16+ she didn't like her body (I loved every inch) and it sounds like your husband does too. Like another post said, its confidence not a washboard stomach. You ask on here how many men love curves over slim (nothing wrong with slim) and a vast majority will pref curves. Some of the sexiest models are plus size...they are the supermodels as they represent real people. Learn to accept and love your body and your experience in the bedroom will rocket and your husband will feel the luckiest guy alive.

Maybe it would help for him to wear a blindfold and get the extra excitement. You will then be less conscious and after a while may care less?

OP, it’s not a case of looking like an idiot. Quality sex is about the meeting and sharing of 2 hungry bodies. Most of us have wobbly bits that can be seen regardless of where we are placed during the celebration. And sex leads to some weird facial expressions too and that is where your partner will be concentrating. Relax!

You don’t say how old you are, but l suspect l am a little older. Personally, I prefer to go on top, wobbly bits et al, in terms of stimulation and sensitivity. This has caused a few surprises the first time with someone new, but no complaints.

Few of us look our best during sex, most of us usually have sex without our makeup on after all. Just enjoy what works for you.

Why not try some sexy underwear or a garter belt that covers your tummy ? There's plenty around if you look on-line.

But you are not alone - most of us have body image issues, especially after children and it doesn't matter how much someone tells you that you "look amazing" - you have to believe it yourself xx

Well I wore a red lacey babydoll thing and a good bra that made my boobs look amazing- the only part of my body I like because they're big. But the evening didn't go well at all. Thanks for all the advice, I just don't think it's something il do again😬

Why didn’t it go well OP?

He couldn't stay hard.
It was fine before I got on. He's 30 so I don't think it's an age thing.

He probably got over excited and performance anxiety kicked in

Slightly off topic but I really like the responses on here from
Blokes who claim not to have a problem
With wobbly bits - it is a serious worry of mine with new partners and to know most men don't care is a bit of a boost

I pref some "wobbly" bits and I know many who do also. We don't get brainwashed over airbrushed pictures in women's magazines that make REAL women feel inadequate.

I know PP have said it, but he won't be looking at your tummy. If you are nervous and not feeling it he probably picked up on that and couldn't perform. Confidence is sexy. Even if you have to fake the confidence. I am bigger then you and I often go cowgirl with my partner and he absolutely loves it. (I also wear baby doll type things as this improves my confidence). But the main thing is just get on and go for it. If you are enjoying it, he will enjoy it. I hope it works out for you next time OP!

Just remember, unless yourt patner is fresh of the Men's Health Magazine cover photoshoot, or the set of the latest Gillette advert, he too will have just as many insecurities as you, whether they show or admit it.

Am I too fat?
What about my beer belly?
I've not no muscle tone?
I'm not tanned enough?
What about my crooked teeth?
What if my penis is too small/thin/bent?
I'm not tall enough
I hope my bald spot doesn't turn her off
What if she's repulsed by my hairy back?
What if my technique is rubbish?
What if I can't give her an orgasm?
What if I cum too soon?

Trust me, women do not have exclusivity rights on body image or performance.

As for going on top - just do what makes you feel good and gives you pleasure and stop worrying about what will please him. This, by it's very nature will please him seeing you enthusiastically getting into it.

You mention he doesn't like the grinding movement when you are on top. What do you like? I go on top or end up on top 8 times out of ten. The just bouncing up and down movement doesn't quite do it for me so I prefer grinding which gets carried away that it's a mix of up and down and grinding at the same time. If you like grinding you should do what gets you to your happy place 😉 and let your partner know that's what works for you.

Sorry OP ... not RTWT but your DH helped create the "mummy pouch" 😉😉

Bodies are wierd things anyway (just check out Willys Are Rank thread!)

Sex should be fun 🤪 so hop aboard and enjoy 😉

I find it easier on top if dp is sat up - have you tried going on top on the sofa?

Reverse cow girl? I love this and then my DP can spank me which is amazing for me. I'm going funny even writing it.

I'm sorry it didn't go well before.
I too have body hang ups (if you got paid for stretch marks I'd be rich), but I also realise now that men aren't marking you out of ten. They are shagging/fucking/making love to someone they are really into. My man is about 3x my size and I get giddy just looking at him and his big sexy belly.

I would suggest reverse cowgirl, but for you rather than him. You get him inside you and access to your clit at the same time. Then when you've got yourself off, change to a position he prefers.

tbh, women-on-top positions don't work that well for me - not enough friction, and it's difficult to maintain motion unless the woman is very fit, and I can also lose my erection after a bit.