Husband has sexsomnia and it’s driving me insane!

[Heyjude20]

We don’t have a very high sex life. Probably once every 1/2 weeks. It’s abit crap but we both have confidence issues.

Every few days when we are both asleep he will try it on while we are both asleep.

Like full on hand down there! Which wakes me up and puts me in the mood. He isn’t turned on iykwim. As soon as I touch him he seems to realise what’s going on and then rolls over!!

So I’m left feeling frustrated!

When I tell him in the morning he doesn’t recall any of it.

What do I do?!

@Heyjude20

Cynically perhaps I doubt that "he's asleep!"

He really is, he’s snoring and completely out of it!

There has been a documentary about this except they had sex and the woman loved it because he lasted ages due to been asleep.

@Heyjude20

Hm! If your DH penetrates you while you are asleep you cannot consent, therefore "rape". I wonder if "automatism" is a legal defence.

How curious.

DHs/boys usually grow out of nocturnal emissions "wet dreams" at about 14 years old

We don’t have sex. Because I can’t be arsed at that time and the min I touch him to see if he’s excited he seems to wake up slightly and roll over..

My DP did this once.

It was so sudden and vigorous (waking me up and doing it like that) that it felt a bit rapey (understatement I know but I've been raped and this wasn't quite that) and it wasn't until after a few minutes I thought 'fuck! Is he snoring?!' He was totally asleep. So I bonked him on the head hard. It was so goddamm weird.

I wish I had advice. But this just sounds annoying for it to happen a lot. I think you do need to up your day sex game maybe so he needs to be open to discussing this lack. It must play into it.

I think that’s the problem. We are so self conscious that we don’t have sex! I try and talk about it and he says He feels pressured into sex!