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First time sex with someone I’m dating.

8 replies

Gonewiththemadness · 12/01/2020 23:09

I’ve started dating somebody I really like and it looks like it might get serious!
We’ll see each other during the daytime when we’re both not working for the next 2 weeks and then we have arranged dinner and drinks and I’ll be staying over at hers for the night.
We both have DC so have made the plans in advance.
We have been talking sex and hoping that all goes well it’s a possibility.
It’s strange because it’s not entirely first time sex. We had 2 dates a few years ago and actually something did happen then but we were both very drunk so I don’t think it counts!
It’s not all about sex I’d like to add, I really really like her too and between then and now we’ve talked so much and I really have a great feeling about her as a person but as I know it will probably happen if all goes well dating wise and we’ve chatted about it I just need to ask the question I have in relation.
I have a huge insecurity about my belly and my boobs! I’ve had 2 DC and lost a few stone quickly at one point years ago and so I have some loose skin on my belly and not just a little bit (it’s very obviously there and not at all attractive to me) that I’ve always hated and I feel very worried about my boobs being too saggy too! It makes me cringe to even say it!
She has an amazing body and I’m just really worried that it’ll put her off.
I’ve spoken to her about it and she said she really likes me for me and who I am and what I’m like as a person and also that I’m beautiful and that she really fancies me and also that she likes things like that but I’m just so worried! I feel like it will just be an awful shock to her that she won’t like!
I don’t want to talk to her anymore about it because I don’t want to put her off me with low self confidence either as it’s really unattractive, neither do I want her to think I would think she’d be shallow as it’s all my own insecurity. I also don’t want to talk sex while getting to know her, it might not even get to that stage! But I know that I need to be able to talk about it somewhere and ask opinions or I’ll just get more and more anxious leading up to our evening date we’ve planned!
Anyone who dates women either male or female would it put you off?
Anyone who has the same issue have you found it to be a problem for others?

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DoingDadding · 13/01/2020 00:49

In short no.

It sounds like you’ve found a bit of a spark with someone and that’s been reciprocated.

If an attraction is there, it’s there, don’t waste your time worrying about it, just enjoy it and seize the moment. You’ve already said yourself low self confidence isn’t attractive.

This woman has told you she really likes you for who you are and that you’re beautiful and she fancies you. Run with that, and don’t doubt yourself.

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StarlightLady · 13/01/2020 05:17

Female here, but with some experience of women. She has said it all. Take her by the hand and lead her to the bedroom. The sooner this is out thecway the better you will feel.

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StarlightLady · 13/01/2020 05:18

Correction: “The sooner this is out of the way the better!”

Enjoy Flowers

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Gonewiththemadness · 13/01/2020 07:54

Thank you for the opinions! I’d just like to add after re-reading my own post, we’ve not talked all between our last dates and these. We chatted before, quite allot, had the 2 dates, we really liked each other but neither of us were in a good place as recently out of relationships so didn’t take it any further. Been talking again now and now dating again after both being in a different relationship between then and now but both single for a while again.
Previous partners have not had a problem at all but I’ve been very self conscious and insecure about it and this time I think I’ve met someone who is beautiful inside and outside and I just don’t want my body insecurities to spoil it!

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Allsocomplicated · 14/01/2020 12:46

I totally get it. I felt the same after my marriage and dating again in my forties. But actually I really don't think it matters. When you're dtd you're not looking at someone's bits and bobs, you're enjoying how it feels and how they respond to you. That is sexy as fuck if they're into you and vice versa and a squishy tum doesn't change that.

I'm wobbly and objectively my bf has a bit of a tum but never notice in bed and I just fancy the pants off him.

She sounds lovely. Reckon you'll be fine when you get your mojo 😘

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tinseltitsandlittlegits · 17/01/2020 18:15

All the girls I've been with have had mum tums just like myself and it's never been mentioned. If you are connected with someone enough to want sex then a tummy isn't going to turn off the desire.
Also we all look the same lying down😂

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SimonJT · 17/01/2020 18:58

They won’t care in a negative way. If someone likes you they aren’t fussed if you don’t look like a preened model, they just want you to look like you.

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Interestedwoman · 19/01/2020 23:58

I know how you feel, but if I'm with a female partner I'm not bothered if she has a tummy. I'm too in awe of the fact I'm getting some Grin Grin Grin And if I like the person, even better.

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