Where to find casual sex?

[Lookingforperspective2015]

I'm recently separated after a 22 year relationship. I LOVE sex and want some no-strings sex, but the stories I hear from others about the dangers of ONS and OLD puts me off. I've thought about sex parties but I need to get to know someone and feel a chemistry - I don't want sex with anyone just for the sake of it. I haven't been on the market for many years - any ideas? I'm early 40s, decent shape for having had two kids and am acceptably attractive but definitely no supermodel.

"definitely no supermodel" why do women put themselves down like this. 99.9% of the population aren't supermodels! You've given birth to 2 new lives, you're not a supermodel, you're superwoman!

The casual sex thing can be a minefield, I'd suggest it's not as bad as the horror stories out there. In the past I've had a decent amount of joy on fabswingers and tinder, usually meeting for a drink to see if we hit it off before moving to the bedroom. What I can say is that ONS or sex just for sex sake can be incredibly liberating (and hot!). Good luck

Thanks @SnakeRattleRoll, that's useful. And you're quite right about the supermodel comment - it's almost reflexive I think!

@Lookingforperspective2015 I know, happens all the time, it just upsets me that's the female default, to put down and minimise! Hope you manage to get out there and get so much confidence in how your amazing body can still turn on many men!

Do you mean casual one off sex or a casual / friends with benefits thing. I’ve met someone like that on online dating to see once a week . You just need to be clear in what you write and when you start speaking to people. If you stick fairly close to home you can usually find them on social media or check them out in some other way

@Jane1978xx Just one-offs at this stage I think.

There’s a site called FAB swingers that people talk about on the dating thread which is for hook up etc as well as actual swinging. It’s probably harder to find a total one off than a casual ongoing person I would think as you need ideally to have an initial meet to check they are legit for safety.

Thanks @Jane1978xx I'll check that out.

i would highly recommend Fabswingers my OH and i have had a lot of fun and successful meets thru it you just need to safeguard yourself by meeting in public first dont promise anything until meeting them then see how it goes

If you say that you are interested only in NSA, ONS, FWB when using online dating/Tinder/etc., you will be inundated with all sorts of dodgy creatures. If I were you I would not mention your need only for casual sex in the first instance and then introduce it once some sort of contact has been established. That will assist in filtering out some of the liars and cheats.

The other aspect to be careful with is STIs. These are very much on the rise in older age groups and if you do not take care of your own sexual health then no one else will.

FAB swingers. It’s a sex hook up site that doesn’t pretend to be a dating site, like POF or Tinder

Another vote for Fabswingers.

The only issue is the ratio of men to women - something like 100 to 1..

It's possible to set up a profile that no-one else can see, so that you can have a look around.

Make sure to set up your message filters carefully, and be prepared for an onslaught of male genitalia and one-line messages..

There are intelligent, articulate, respectful men on there, but there are also a huge amount of knobheads.. Be warned.

Or pm me

The only issue is the ratio of men to women - something like 100 to 1..

This is a good thing for us. More choice and ability to avoid the obvious dickheads!

Thanks for the reconnections and advice everyone!

Recommendations, that should say!

Another vote for Fab - pm me if you want some advice on setting up a profile ;-)