Spicing Up Sex Life

[KissNum99]

Hi,
I have been with my husband for 14 years, we’ve both always enjoyed sex as part of our relationship but it has become quite predictable, (mainly due to having 3 children and not having a lot of time). We both enjoy foreplay and vary our positions. We don’t use sex toys, they never appealed to my husband really but could this be a good place to start? He always ejaculates inside me but maybe change that too? We’ve had anal sex a few times in the past but it’s not something either of us are keen on.

Suppose the trick is trying things gradually and understanding what you both like or don't. Also it is having time and feeling relaxed that the children won't come running in the bedroom or hear through the walls.

I found it was easier trying some stuff when either the MIL looking after the kids giving us some us time, or a weekend away and we always try and make an effort. Try some toys, my DH loves using a vibe on me or laying by me and watching me use it. Also dressing up. Risqué under wear for bed is usually great. 1/4 cup bras and open front thongs or a body are very erotic.

All so when relaxed enough some dirty talk (I prefer DH to start it but I join in). Maybe being tied to the bed. He wanted to try that and I found it incredibly arousing as I felt a little helpless with him doing things to me.

Won't say any more as gets to TMI but experimentation is the key but go gradually

Wow @namechangedyorkshire - some great suggestions there.

I would say it takes two to do this so it's worth trying to have a chat about it beforehand. There's a popular quiz online called Mojo Upgrade which is worth searching for. That could be a starting point for discussion?

You mentioned you both like foreplay? If time is an issue and the sex is scheduled maybe play on more of a build up beforehand? Maybe some sexts or teasing pics on the day before or day of? I second dirty talk, not for everyone - can be embarrassing but also very hot if the moment is right.

Toys could also be something new to try. Maybe a Magic Wand for you or a Fleshlight for him?

Lingerie can be fun. Is there something he'd love to see you wear? Could be basques, stockings and heels? Could be leather or rubber?

Mutual masturbation is amazing, as is the one-sided submission play that was mentioned above. Where one of you submits to be given pleasure by the other?

Some quality porn can be good to watch. Can aid with foreplay or setting the scene. It's not all fake American stuff with plastic women, there are some good more female oriented stuff out there.

If you've got three kids, then car sex is probably out of the question. Can be risking and thrilling though. Likewise for office sex. Highly risky but then can be incredible and memorable.

You've only one life to live so may as well have a good think about what turns each of you on and then explore crossing a few things off those lists. Best of luck to you both!