Vibrator advice - am I over doing it? Does it matter?

[UnwillingCelibate]

I finally left my ex 9 months ago after 10 years of no sex and no willingness to resolve the issue on his part. In that time I have used a vibrator periodically. Not especially frequently, but I guess over 10 years it all adds up. So I now find that I can't orgasm by hand...it's like I have desensitised and only the vibrator will do it. However I am also on sertraline (have been for several years.) I know that ssri's can make it harder to orgasm so maybe this is the bigger issue? Any insight would be very much appreciated.

I would say it is the SSRI. DH and I have used a vibrator for a while now in the bedroom as he was really keen for us to use. Certainly hasn't desensitised me at all!!

I’ve been buzzing away most days, often twice a day since l was 15 or so, regardless of what else was happening. I’m in my 40s now. No adverse effects here, apart from the fact I’ve spent an awful lot on batteries. Hands and another’s tongue/lips all do the job too. I suspect it’s the medication.

Are you in a position in your life to try a phased stopping of it?

In the meantime as long as the vibey delivers...you go girl .

Yay! Thanks, glad to hear others have not suffered adverse effects from vibrator usage. I do go long periods without using it at all Starlight (next to no sex drive these days )...yet I still have the lack of sensitivity, it gets no better, no worse. So hopefully when I come off the ssri stuff it will resolve! To be fair, there was one anti depressant I was on 20 years ago and not even a nuclear powered vibrator would have done it...I do hope this is the issue again.

First off, I must say that I am not a Doctor. However, the medical layman in me thinks that if a vibrator could 'desensitise' you in some way, then wouldn't fingers do the same thing over a long period?

If you do feel that vibrator usage has in some way changed things, then I wouldn't say 'rubbish' but I would say that it was probably in your head and not a physical issue.

Having been on an anti-depressant myself some years ago, I be guessing that to be the root of your recent experiences.

Starlightlady....often twice a day
..wow bet your fella loves you!

@Justaordinarybloke - The OP is seeking help here about her personal needs and I have no wish to derail her thread, nor do l want to turn it into a debate. There are so many assumptions made here. Vibeys are Duracell driven (or equivalent) not male driven and very little (if anything) to do with “fellas”.

To add that the needs are so different.

If it's death grip in men, what would you call this in women?

It is indeed a dangerous slippery slope, potentially to a clff edge, to assume all things male have a female equivalent.

I'd suspect it was the SSRI. I was on duloxetine for a while, for neuropathies pain, and it stopped me being able to orgasm at all. If it is a problem for you, talk to your GP about trying a different medication - mine was very understanding.