How to feel more confident wearing lingerie

[IntoTheWilderness]

I’m naturally quite a shy person and not very confident in the way I look - a bit overweight and wobbly.

I have a newish partner who likes me wearing lingerie/stockings. I like wearing them too but still end up feeling a bit shy when I’m actually in front of him wearing them.

I’m not sure what exactly it is I feel I don’t feel confident about. I’ve sent him some photos of me wearing things before I’ve worn them “for him” and they’ve been well received, he’s always complimentary about them so I don’t think it’s that I worry he won’t like it. I think it’s because I’m aware I don’t look as good as other people would wearing it and end up feeling a bit self conscious.

So how can I make myself feel confident and take more control of the way I act (not just wanting to get under the covers so he can’t see as much of me)?

Your partners reaction is all you need. He loves you so embrace it.

Do you just wear for the bedroom or is it for going out and him exploring later? i find if I want to wear some more risqué lingerie I like it in a weekend away so we get dressed up, go out and he finds it later when undressing me. I tend to worry less when I know he is aroused

Can you choose a style of lingerie that you feel confident in? I’m not massively keen on my tummy but I have long (reasonably) toned legs so I have a few longline cami/bustier things with stocking attachments. I feel these play to my strengths body wise and my boyfriend is always appreciative!

I have never been into getting dressed for the bedroom, but l wear comfortable but stylish lingerie on a day to day basis. If you try this, it becomes “real” and should help alleviate any concerns.

Maybe choose your own OP. I love wearing hold ups for sex.

Totally agree with choosing your own!

Confidence breeds confidence, so my advice would be to fake it until you can make it. Be sassy, be bold, and pretend that you have all the confidence in the world while inside there may well be butterflies in your tummy.

I teach 9-10 year olds to ride their bicycles safely in traffic and I say these actual words to them, because if they appear nervous to other road users they will be bullied all over the place. Trust me, it works for them and it'll work for you.

Great advice xx

I think if your partner is asking you to wear them, and you want to, you are onto a winner
No one is perfect and you should embrace your own body.
I used to have serious hang ups about my body and started exercising. I now think of my body as strong and toned and embrace what its capable of rather than worry too much about my stretch marks and my wobbly belly.
I'm sure your partner is keen.
Enjoy yourself

You coukd of course try using the lingerie for its intended purpose; wearing under your clothes. And have sex as nature intended; naked. There is a lot to be said for the touch of skin.

Oops! Looks like my above comment was deleted. Maybe it was because I mentioned an online store? Stockings and Headquarters would be a useful search term I think.

I also like stockings and suspenders. I've found them attractive for a very long time. My wife had never worn them before, nor really had anyone encourage her to wear lingerie. That was a good form of bonding and connection for us both.

I agree with the post above that confidence breeds confidence.

I was just about to post a similar question! I've bought some lovely bra and knicker sets, silky and sexy but not ott. I've got a wobbly tummy so wanted a body type thing but don't know how to wear it on a night out when I'm usually in jeans. And where do hold ups fit into it all? So complicated!

@StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight . Go for a dress then which will enhance the experience. As long as not too short then holdups work great.....if we are staying in and just eating then I have had a bath, got changed and then used a short dress/skirt and put the hold ups on which has really worked well...but getting past dinner can be then tricky lol