I've never given a blow job! Where do I start?

[HotLatteontherunplease]

I'm really keen to give this a go but I'm anxious I'll hurt my man with my teeth or he won't enjoy it. I should know what I'm doing by now but I don't so I've avoided giving them for years.

Can I hear your beginner advice on blowjobs please? What do I do with my tongue /teeth and where do I start?

My man is very attracted to me and is always ready to go but I lack confidence in taking the lead. Genuinely want this to be the year I learn to pleasure him properly as he is, and has always been, very attentive to my needs. I have a strong gag reflex which makes me nervous. I don't want to gag over his penis because I'll be mortified.

Help?!

Any practical advice?

Might be worth watching some amateur porn where normal girls like us suck a guys penis. Holding the base with one hand helps control how far into your mouth it goes plus licking the tip is a great way to please him. May I ask your respective ages? Re. gagging don't try to take the whole penis in your mouth - i would say i only ever have sucked half way down as i gag as well. My DH and previous partners have been happy with me just putting half in my mouth. It is a lovely experience and message anytime - sucking is truly intimate way of pleasing a guy.

We are both mid forties! Thanks for your reply. I was worried people may think I was a journalist or something but I wanted real advice from real women who have experience. I'm not a fan of watching porn at all as I'm a feminist but I'll give it a try. I just don't know anything about 'technique' and that stops me from trying.

Practice on a cucumber

As above....hold at the bottom of the shaft and take the head in your mouth....that's where the nerves are...licking with your tongue is lovely or just use your lips as though you are eating a lolly but don't actually suck hard!!! Be wise to have a discussion with your partner about where he should cum if you take him that far....it is very easy to do!!!!!...if you don't mind the taste etc of semen then you can go all the way with him....else make sure he tells you before he is about to orgasm so you can ...ahem...avoid the inevitable....enjoy...

Just simply ask him to instruct you.

I have always just imagined what I would like to be done to me if I had a cock and I do that. I find that once you start they soon tell you how much they love it and you can follow their lead. Go with the flow. I've always been complimented on what I do xx

The closeness can be special. Think ice lolly! Just treat him the same. Stay within your comfort zone and in the driving seat (no thrusting from him). Your teeth shouldn’t be a problem. To begin with you may be more comfortable kneeling on a cushion with him sat up.

PS: I would not take the majority of porn as a good example.

Please don't go down the road of watching porn. That's really poor, bad advice.

All good advice here, but I'll add not to raise your own expectations that you'll 100% be able to make him orgasm, as this isn't always the case.

Some guys love them and some only find them 'nice' and won't climax.

Don't be disappointed if he is someone who isn't that fussed.

I've only ever had one good blow job in my entire life, the rest have been very 'meh' due to lack of technique and/or enthusiasm.

Google amatuer wife/girlfriend blowjob watch some real women giving head. This is not porn per se, so it shouldnt offend your feminist principles and it's not over the top porn style blowjobs.

Enthusiasm is definitely a massive turn on. Turn your inexperience into part of the fun. Tell him you want to learn to give good head and he will be the lucky recipient of your learning. Have fun learning, try it in different positions and different locations. I have had blowjobs at airport carparks, shopping centre car parks, pub toilets, out on a country walk, while on business meeting phone call, while guests were seated for dinner in the next room (they thought we were preparing the main course) many times driving. In the toilet at a family party. That's probably 50% of the places. It's part of the fun.

@BackToTheCaveman

I envy you - I've never had a blow job outside of the bedroom, ever.

All my partners have been too prudish and not horny to consider or offer such.

@PrawnSacrifice I was going to say to you, if I was you I'd bin your partners.

CaveWoman and I have a mildly BDSM relationship (dominance not pain) part of that plays out in making her do "stuff". Sex is often not practical, therefore its almost always blowjobs. I truly have lost count of the places she has done me.

@BacktoTheCaveman

Good for you, sounds like fun.

As a married man with a DW I love, stable family and children, sacrificing all to (maybe) find someone who is more adventurous isn't a realistic option.

I've just never had a partner who is horny and up for a bit of excitement and fun, as much as I'd have loved this.

Conversations tend to go like this...

"Why don't we...."
"But we might get caught"
"Yeah, that's part of the fun and excitement"
"Oooh no, I couldn't relax"

Plus it's never been offered, and having to ask kills it really.

Personally, l am certainly not a prude, nor would I want to be considered so, just because I would not want to have any form of sex in a car park or a pub toilet (yuk!).

Thanks for all your replies, everyone.

Reminds me of the time an inexperienced ex asked me how to wank me off.

I told her to mime shaking a bottle of tomato sauce.

She grasped it firmly in one hand and, with the other, smacked the top quite hard.

Ba-doom-doooosh!!

@lovesmarties ha ha, there is a video of that!

OP, don’t feel obliged or pressured to swallow if it’s not for you. Most men will still appreciate love oral play then pulling off at the last minute. And most men tend to give involuntary signals that they are about to come, jerking of hips or penis, balls tightening, groaning.

Depending on position and if you have hold of the shaft you can direct where the spurts go. If he is standing and you are kneeling in front of him, or you are laying down and he is straddling you, then you could let him come over your face (money shot) or chest and breasts (pearl necklace, thanks porn). Another position is him laying down and you kneeling between this splayed legs, he will come over himself but you could catch some and smear it over his penis and wank it while he finishes ejaculating. And if you are both really daring, with him laying down you can squat over his face then he can lick you while you blow him.

Also don’t forget to still make use of your hands, again depending on position, but stroke his balls, perinium, inside his legs, lower stomach, lower back, even chest and nipples.

Sorry, forgot to add, don’t, or try not to, let him come in your mouth then spit it out, makes us feel like we’ve done something wrong or disgusting.

I think you have had a fairly descriptive list of options from @Anotherblokelurking 😂. I suggest you try and don't worry about hurting him. Highly unlikely and he will let you know if he isn't enjoying it. I have tried most of that and what works for a partner is first act of us wanting to do it (rather than them asking), varying what you do so not the same old. Most blokes love it if you do take in the mouth and swallow which I do sometimes in between him doing other things like we're described.

Once when my DH was very aroused and we had tried all of that, he reciprocated for me,in that he had cum inside me and he went down on me. Was amazing, partly as was so unexpressed but very sensuous.

Ask him to teach you

My DH loves it as wet as possible. I tend to start off slow, licking the tip and then up and down the shaft. Give him a hand job if my mouth gets a bit sore but tbh, he loves it so much that he usually cums in about 3 mins anyway 😂