How to get out of a rut

[spicethings]

Namechanged as embarrassed!

I want to know how to get out of a sexual rut, DH and I enjoy sex and have it fairly regularly but it's always the same script. Kiss and cuddle, boob fondling licking, both get a bit of oral then PIV. I'm getting bored 😐 - is this inevitable in long term relationships? When we have time for lengthy sessions there is a bit of light bondage, dressing up and toys but with two young kids that is very few and far between! Any advice appreciated

It happens in most relationships, its upto you to make it change. When your at it if he's doing something you like hold him there, take control and enjoy.

Repetition and predictability are pretty inevitable in a long term relationship.

Both parties have to have the desire and appetite to keep things fresh which is seldom the case, as one person normally gets disappointed when the other just goes along with it rather than driving any change.

Take him by surprise and trombone him. You’ll be amazed at how much he’ll love it and you’ll get loads back in return. Good luck

Book a hotel for the afternoon.
Buy some new toys

It can be inevitable but doesn't have to be, but when you have young kids it does take some managing. I find I'm more a morning person which over the years isn't really compatible with young kids.

I found date nights whether home or out but not drinking too much alcohol so I didn't just want to drop in bed. Making a move before he was in bed was good or be clear by wearing some underwear that made it clear you are interested. I found things like sexy lingerie but with open front usually made the point.

Like you some bondage in occasions, usually me whispering it to him would get things going. Also he wanted to try using some toys and whilst I had sad no a few times, he bought one once and when he did get it out I whispered that I thought he would never try...etc

The key is variety and in the end nothing beats having a weekend child free if ever possible.

Keeping your relationship fresh in the bedroom though will only benefit both of you so well done for thinking

I think there are some good comments on here. I think it happens to all of us. It can be very destructive at times. Once the habit has stopped then it becomes harder and harder to start things off again. Have been through several dry spells with my wife - work, life all sorts of things can get in the way.

You are certainly not alone. There's far more 'unrealistic sex' in popular media than 'real life sex' as it tends to be.

What seems to work for us is scheduling it. It's not for everyone but it works for us. My wife likes to shower first and then dress in nice lingerie, along with stockings and suspender belt.

I agree with the post above saying 'sexy lingerie but with an open front' - sends a clear message and lets me know that it's a good time.
She likes dressing up and getting ready and it certainly does the trick for us.

Are the kids ever out when you ate both home? If so, go for day time sex as opposed to something you do at night when you go to bed. And consider some oral only sessions. It’s easy to think it’s all about penetration. There are other magic buttons.

This is true

Absolutely not inevitable. It does not start with the sex but everything else. If you talk a lot, hopes, fears, plans etc. Touching, holding hands, finding time together. Watch a movie, go for walks, everything really and that all feeds into the sex.

I know what you mean op, I have been with my dh for 16 years and we fall into that rut too if we are tired with the kids. My dh still turns me on so so much and I don't want things to get boring! Things that we have done differently are as a previous poster said focussing totally on oral and putting alot more time into really giving each other a long powerful orgasm..also, switch up the positions, try something new. we also regularly buy new toys to play with together from love honey. Some light spanking, yeah just keep changing things. Also different rooms in the house if poss..