Thoughts during sex

[allinmyhead12]

What do you all think about during sex....sometimes i cant stop my mind wondering off somewhere and then i lose the moment and enjoyment of it, either that or i start getting anxious about the expectations of my husband...what he wants me to do or say or should i have cum by now etc etc
How do i stop that???? what goes through your minds??? am i alone in this???

Well I try to stay completely present and only think of the physical sensations. Regarding your wondering what your DH is wanting, you have to speak to him...you can ask or say what you want. Ask him what his favourite parts of sex are....ask him which is the most sensitive part of his penis and show him what you like.

You have to communicate.

he enjoys all sex lol, we have a lot compared to others just sometimes (sorry if TMI) when he say he wants me to cum my anxiety kicks in and then it doesnt happen and then i worry he will thinks its him when its not, its like a never ending circle. Maybe its a confidence thing

Tell him not to say he wants you to cum. Think about what he's doing to you to enjoy it, think about what you want him to do to you then tell him if your confident to be explicit tell him that way.

This is a good topic. I think it's different for each of us. You have to be experienced and comfortable to not only know how your own body works but also someone elses.
Me and my wife had sex and used condoms for the first time in a decade recently. I must admit I was worried that it would not feel the same, that my penis looked small with it on and that I would not be able to come.
Luckily though everything went well.
As a man I must admit to feeling the pressure many times and worrying that I will either take too long (often) or come too soon (sometimes.)

Varies a lot; some samples:

Why am I always the one to suggest another position...
I wish she could orgasm through PIV...
Please hurry up and cum, my tongue is exhausted and I'm getting bored now...
I'm getting really hot now, I'll go and open a window...
I hope she's enjoying this...
This BJ is nice, but I'll never cum from it so I'll suggest something else in a few minutes...
I wish you'd be more vocal as I'm really not getting much feedback here...
Hmmm, you're starting to go dry, is this not working for you now?...
Please be more dominant and less passive...
Shall I quit massaging your clit, as it doesn't seem to help?...

I imagine I'm having sex with Margaret Thatcher. It helps to delay my orgasm.

Sometimes it's good stuff like little fantasies which help me get going...not cos he is bad just things that I know turn me on..I guess I just want to be able to switch my mind off everything else and just be in the moment rather than letting things in

We very rarely have sex, for me sex isn’t about ‘getting off’, I’m always just in awe of how amazing he is and how much I love him, sometimes I cry a bit, which he thankfully gotten used to

@PawnSacrifice Reading your comment made me a little sad as it has never occurred to me that men have these thoughts 😔

My mind wanders, esp when I'm "pretending" to like something or when certain positions have gone on a little "too long" and aren't going to reach the desired goal.

Talking about things is very important, which some may find difficult, but i also find slipping on a blindfold makes me totally relax and lose all my inhibitions x

@PawnSacrifice do you know if all guys think things like this? Have you ever talked about it with other men?

As now I'm wondering if my DH thinks things like this, and I probably need to give him more vocal feedback!

Haha Pawn

I’ve pretty much thought the exact same - but thankfully not with the same woman!

Especially when one has been with a partner for a while, one should have a pretty good idea of how their body works. My wife and I are mid-late 40's, no kids at home, and our sex life is extraordinary, however, when things aren't going as usual, those types of thoughts come flooding in for sure.

I've had quite a lot of partners and many men have thoughts like Prawns They generally really want their partner to enjoy themselves and a LOT of women don't vocalise what they like and what they don't like but are very passive.

But men can TELL if you're not into it. They know and it can make them feel bad.

its nice to read these comments and know that its not just me it is all men and women who have these thoughts....i wonder what my husband thinks of now LOL

@MrsTumbletap

It's not something I discuss openly with friends, but unless a man is a totally selfish idiot (and there are plenty out there), if the woman is utterly crap in bed, doesn't know what she's doing, has terrible technique, shows no enthusiasm, gives little or no feedback and lies there like an old coat, then yes, these thoughts will being going on in the man's head.

From what bits I have heard, and from my own experience also, is that men don't have exclusivity rights on being rubbish in bed. For me, it's all about enthusiasm, feedback and being genuinely really horny - wanting it, needing and really going for it.