Can your relationship last without sex?

[FabbyChix]

For me it was pivotal until I met someone where sex between us didn’t work. I decided that we didn’t need it we had it all without it. This for me was life changing as I haven’t had sex in 7 years now single. I will never have another partner where sex comes first I want it last not born of an urge or need but Of love of a way of having sex not to come but to make my partner feel loved. Too many relationships need sex when if you can’t be with someone without it you shouldn’t be together. Thoughts!

You have the ideal set up now for sure but not many people can live that way, we're so hard wired to reproduce that most couples can't survive without at least playing at doing so!

I'm sure many asexuals would agree with you

I'm polyamorous and my DP1 is monogamous. We have a fantastic life together although our sex life isn't what I would like it to be. Maybe once a month and even then it's mediocre at best. But, i love him, we get on great in other areas so sex with him isn't really that important.

DP2 and i have a superb sex life when we're able to see each other. We really connect on so many levels and although we're now in a LDR it's only increased our desire for each other. If we had to live without sex we could. Itd be difficult as i fancy the pants offa him, but its doable.

Most attraction to begin with is sexual. I think you’ll struggle here OP

I left my marriage for a variety of reasons and for the last few years of the marriage we had sex maybe 5 times. The lack of intimacy was hard. It made it difficult for us to connect as a couple. We didn’t split because of the lack of sex but it was definitely a symptom of our relationship being unhealthy.

I am in a new relationship now and sex was very high up on my agenda. The one minor argument we have had was resolved and some excellent sex was had afterwards which helped reassure us both that we still liked each other.

I think that my relationship would not survive without sex unless one broadened the meaning of what sex actually is. I could possibly manage without PIV sex as long as there was still sexual intimacy. The act of being in bed naked together is pretty special; it does not always lead to orgasms, etc., but it does strengthen the bonds between me and my partner. I need for there to be something that elevates the relationship from being good friends; without that it be pretty pointless for me.

Well, as youre single now, doesn't that mean it didn't work dispite sex not being a part of it, so that apprach didn't work for you either? Problems with sex life are often linked to problems elsewhere IMHO ,so to ignore issues with that is also to ignore other problems too

If neither of you have zero sex drive then sure it can work. The greater imbalance between sex drives though and the more likely the relationship will fail. Note that fail doesn't necessarily mean end - plenty of people are miserably trapped in failed relationships.

It's not ideal for most people but there's more to a relationship than sex especially as you get older. My friend gave me advice ... find yourself a good friend you want to spend all your time with, if the sex is good it's a bonus, he's 64.

Each to their own. No sex in a relationship could work as long as both partners are happy with the arrangement but it's essential to communicate that with each other before getting deeply involved IMO.

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship without sex.

It depends upon the needs and priorities of those involved in the relationship.

I am currently in a sexless marriage and I am in my early 40s. Honestly, it breaks me heart and makes me feel incredibly undesirable and lonely.

I haven't left because we have children and other areas of our family life are good.

I wish things were different. If you can walk away from the other person and you are struggling now... let it go and move on.

I've been in sexless relationships and it upset me. I felt unfulfilled and I needed touch. No amount of chatting, going to concerts together or having a nice meal was going to solve that.

This is interesting as I believe I was in very sexually dry relationships in the past but I thought it didn't matter as a: my partner was happy and b: there were other more important things in our lives. I then had a FWB who blew my mind sexually, no boundaries, keen to please and devoted to my pleasure. Im now feeling that I'd need to have the same freedom in future relationships as now I realise what I have been missing.

I'm in one, and we are relatively young as well..( not in our 40's yet).

Think we last had any sexual contact 18 months ago. I'm not really sure why we are still together, as it's not really a relationship without any kind of intimacy is it?

I think if we were honest we don't like the way we look ( weight gain over the years), and have lost confidence.

Apparantly, according to my partner, we have friends in the same position. It's more common than you think.

Relationships can survive, but they won't be anywhere near as good as they could be.

To be honest, with a mortgage we can only just about manage a small child, it's not something to split up over either.

I suppose it's how affairs happen ..suddenly someone else ignites the flame you haven't got anymore.

I wouldn't want a relationship without sex. It isn't a relationship, more a friendship. Not known many not having sex but it tends to make them miserable and question their marriage etc and they have separated

If both parties are happy then of course it can work, or if one isn't but they can jointly come to some arrangement then fine. But for me sex is what separates a relationship from friendship and I have ended one where we had completely different sex drives. But you need to do what works for you, as long as you are upfront about it then you can find someone who is less interested in it.