As a teenager I was taught by parents who were evangelical christians that sex was definitely only for married couples, straight ones at that, and that masturbation was a sin. Very powerful messages at 13 years old.
For some reason I managed to get round the idea of sex outside of marriage at 17 years old but still struggled with the idea of helping myself.
Fast forward in time and I am now 43. I’ve been with my husband for 23 years and we have a great sex life but there’s still that one thing......
My parents were abusive in many ways and 3 years ago I went NC. Since then I have been rebuilding the damage done by taking control of my life and what I want to do.
Talked about it with my wonderful and very understanding husband and decided to give masturbation a go! Tried alone, tried to make it part of foreplay.....nothing, just felt awkward.
Decided to try a vibrator! Got myself a small one and tried it a couple of times but felt embarrassed and almost as if I was cheating on DH.
Two hours ago, empty house this afternoon with teenagers away. Took myself for a shower and after thought I’d give it another go.
It only bloody worked!!! For the first time in 43 years I took full control of doing just what I liked to my body and made myself cum.
Seems a silly thing to get excited about but it’s more important to me than managing a successful fiddle!
Thank you for reading.