Husband watching gay porn

[Whattodonow2019]

Hi so I was looking for a page on our search history this morning and stumbled across a search entitled videos so I clicked on it (twink in knickers bareback) I go back to our search history and there were lots of similar searches femboy gets done etc that's just in the last three days I didn't look back further for more of the same.I had to Google twink and I just feel sick my husband is early 40's and I'm heavily pregnant with our last baby. Turns out he has been mastubating 3 or 4 times a week to this stuff but claims it not all gay sex! I didn't find any with woman plus He hasn't been wanting to be intimate with me as he find it off putting that I'm pregnant.

I've found gay porn before and he confessed he wants to have things up his back door. So we've tried pegging and anal play.
But it's the nature of the searches twink in knickers wtf how do I deal with this shit. We've spoken this morning I'm really hurt he has been secretive again and that were not having sex or any intimate moments at all.
Does this mean he is gay and has a thing for younger hair free men who look a bit feminine which it don't understand as he claims to find camp gay men annoying.
I just don't know what to do in our relationship he has said sex isn't as important to him as it has been too me should that have been a sign to me? Sorry for the essay anyone been in a similar position? Am I fooling myself and really I'm just living a lie waiting from him to leave to find a man 😢😢

Twink is gay slang for a young man in his late teens to early twenties whose traits may include: general physical attractiveness; little to no body or facial hair; a slim to average build; and a youthful appearance that belies an older chronological age. Wikipedia
This make me feel sick so they look like teen boys Im horrified and completely freaking out

Yes this all very specialised, so your husband is either bisexual or gay.

Twink porn is a distinct taste. Your husband is closeted in some way. Only you will know how that plays out in your sex life (ie does he satisfy you and seem keen to?).

A man who watches twink porn and doesn’t go to bed with you isn’t interested in you sexually though

Thanks for reply and I understand what you are saying and when I'm not pregnant we have what I'd class as a normal sex life and he always has an o he always makes sure I enjoy it too. Ive been thrown by the twink stuff and ive felt devastated all day we've had a chat at lunch time he explained its his escape and fantasy not necessarily the twink stuff but he gets excited about the idea of being penetrated I knew all that and we often talk about his fantasies during sex so I felt I'm pretty open minded about it including anal play pegging etc.
I don't know maybe I'm a mug but part of me thinks sexuality is pretty fluid Im just confused why he kept it secretive. I'm not cool about twink stuff though and I've been honest about that .

I'm not knowledgable about Twink but the reality is your husband is a minimum bisexual or probably gay.....yes I know you're pregnant but there are plenty of men who were married and eventually came out as gay.

You need to seriously sit down and talk to him and then have a really hard think through your situation which I appreciate is very difficult when you are sat there pregnant. However, you are better finding out now if his preference is more for other men than for you and him spending the future being secretive and then exploring male liaisons (assuming he hasn't already?)

I'm sorry you are having to face this but all the best

Hi name change thanks for reply i intend on having a big conversation with him but the chat we've had today he told me he is crazy in love with me and is feeling broken at upsetting me. I don't know if he is in denial about it all but he claims to want our marriage and is happy with our life but this is something just for him.

I have these concerns he will go off at some point but 100% believe he hasn't cheated on me. My head is in two places right now x

@Whattodonow2019

the chat we've had today he told me he is crazy in love with me and is feeling broken at upsetting me.

I'm sure he is but clearly he has attractions to men that are very strong and in reality how long will he keep resisting them? Read the tale about Ron Davies, former Wales First Mjnister. He apparently spent years suppressing his preferences and got divorced eventually. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RonDaviess(Welshpolitician)

But is it for others to decide if he is str8/bi or gay or is it for him to self identify as one of the above? Could he be mentally ill? What is is recent usual demeanour?

I would caution you against jumping to conclusions. Sexuality is a spectrum, there are no absolutes, and I think it's quite common for men to be interested in other men to some degree even if they never act on it. I class myself as actively heterosexual, my DW and I have a great sex life but I occasionally look at gay porn, though the idea of actually having sex with another man does not attract me. Your DH does seem to be looking at this stuff on a worryingly large scale and you do need to be reassured but all is not lost.

They are quite a few people here who have no professional insight into what they are giving by way of advice - indeed, I am one of them. Therefore, do take everything with a large dose of salt.

Having said that, your own feelings about sexuality being fluid and what Anothernick says are sensible as far as I am concerned. We know far more than we ever did about sexuality and it is nowhere near as black & white as people thought only a few years ago. In my opinion sex is sex and if for example someone is bringing you to orgasm, either manually or orally, what is the difference? There isn't any for a lot of us. There are people out there who now class themselves as heteroromantic as they find both sexes attractive, but could only fall in love with someone of the opposite gender. There are women out there who find it very stimulating to watch gay male porn - what label would they be given?

A lot of people are obsessed with putting labels on others' sexuality and I would caution against paying too much attention to what they have to say. Your husband obviously enjoys anal play, but that does not make him gay. It makes him brave enough to open this often closeted aspect of sexuality to be shared with you. He admits that he enjoys twink porn: we all know porn is fantasy, and this is probably just part of that.

You are talking about the situation, and that is great; keep talking and not judging. In the end there are only two people who need to accept his sexuality - him and you. Plenty of people on MN would not accept it, but that does not mean that you have to reject your husband because of his sexuality. Explore things with him and above all, live your own lives.

I send my best wishes and hope that you can resolve the situation to your satisfaction.

I second what @Anothernick has said.

I am heterosexual and I have never / have no intention of being with another woman but sometimes I watch lesbian porn.
Doesn't make me a lesbian though..

Sorry you are in the situation, I hope everything works out for you

IMO your being way to over dramatic.

A simple fetish or kink or interest does not mean he is gay or a bad husband / father.

Curiosity may have killed the cat but it doesn't mean it has to destroy a family unit.

I would imagine lots of straight people enjoy the occasional interest in human homosexuality.

Your perspective is one sided

Porn isnt real. Fantasies aren't real. Huge gulf between what turns people on j the context of watching porn or fantasizing and what they want to happen to them sexually imo