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Original poster

Sex and periods a no go

26 replies

NewMe2019 · 07/10/2019 22:46

Is there anyone else who never has sex during their period?

On a recent relationships thread, nearly all posters said they just get on with it, put a towel down etc. I've always said no way.

However my periods are really light now and I'm in the middle of a bloody 9 day period (never happens, I'm always 4 days at most and done) and I was thinking I'm not actually bothered. However DP refuses to even contemplate it. Fair enough, his choice. But I'm usually climbing the walls when I'm on. And I'm annoyed it's lasting so long and this was mind and DPs weekend. He won't do other stuff either (he has reasons to do with childhood that he doesn't want to talk about, plus a couple of ex's never prewarned him and it was everywhere and it's put him right off).

So reassure me that it's perfectly usual to never have sex during a period and lots of other couples are like this? 😁

OP posts:
TextbookCase · 07/10/2019 23:02

I would do it if I couldn't wait but it's a bit of a hassle with a) putting towels down b) removing tampon "in the moment" c) i don't get so wet when I'm on. I wouldn't say I feel very sexy at that time of the month.

Shodan · 07/10/2019 23:27

We don't.

TBH before current DP I always used to regard periods as a welcome break from sex, but now I wouldn't mind. However he, a bit like yours, has a few issues with it, also stemming from childhood.

Luckily for me though I'm nearly at the end of having periods altogether Grin yay. For the odd times it does make an unwelcome appearance, I use a Beppy tampon and he never knows...

Shodan · 07/10/2019 23:29

Just realised I appear to contradict myself there Grin. I hope you got what I meant.

StarlightLady · 08/10/2019 03:18

When l was younger (40s now), l tended to keep calm and carry on as it were, at least after the first couple of days. I never liked the messy side of it thouh and these days l tend to wait and make up for it afterwards.

That said, vibey induced orgasms do wonders for stomach cramps during a period.

Sorry, but little sympathy for not doing other stuff for whatever reason, that needs sorting out and for me woukd be a deal breaker.

TemporaryPermanent · 08/10/2019 10:29

Your dp has a right to not want to do this.

I've found though that the Caya diaphragm off amazon is brilliant as a period cup that is great to have sex with. The other menstrual cup i bought is too obtrusive but the caya is quick to insert and holds blood flow for at least a couple of hours.

ShadyFP · 08/10/2019 14:01

My DH has never liked the idea, and to be honest, I wouldn’t want to either. Orgasms are helpful with cramps, but the idea of sharing that on the worst days doesn’t appeal to me. We have occasionally when I’m still very lightly spotting at the end, but we usually wait till it’s over.

FranklySonImTheGaffer · 08/10/2019 15:35

We didn't at all for years and years but over the last 2 years my periods have become a bit nuts and can last 2 weeks (sometimes more).
I wouldn't want DH to touch me when I'm on (he doesn't like the idea and neither do I) but when it starts to lighten after a week we sometimes do 'stuff' (ie vibrator for me, hand / oral for DH). Works well as long as we're in the right mood.

Original poster
NewMe2019 · 08/10/2019 17:37

"Your dp has a right to not want to do this."

I wasn't aware I said otherwise.

Thanks everyone. This one has been uber light but it's still been a no. Definitely a plus side for the menopause! Although I'm a good few years away from that (hopefully).

OP posts:
Bouldghirl · 09/10/2019 09:47

Never been particularly squeamish about dtd during my period but DP isn’t interested at all so don’t now. However as @Starlight Lady says there is no better way of sorting out cramps than a good orgasm so it’s toy time as and when required.

Original poster
NewMe2019 · 09/10/2019 10:44

Luckily I don't get cramps anymore. I used to suffer badly pre DC.

It would never be a deal breaker to not do anything. He is an amazing man, kind, funny, gets me, great in bed, always puts my needs first, adores me, gentlemanly, cooks for me etc etc. I'd never throw that away over something like this. He actually wasn't happy to do other stuff because he's still getting something and I'm not and for him it's also about mutual pleasure so he'd rather wait.

OP posts:
SAHD2020 · 09/10/2019 12:03

@StarlightLady. ’Sorry, but little sympathy for not doing other stuff for whatever reason, that needs sorting out and for me woukd be a deal breaker.’
How about because he doesn’t want too. Surely that is a good enough reason or does that not apply towards men?! I’m sure you didn’t mean to but If this was the other way round and he wanted sex of other things and she didn’t there is no way you’d be so dismissive of her not wanting to do anything and would probably tell her to leave him etc. If he doesn’t want to do anything whilst she is on her period he had that absolute right and no one should dismiss that, or say it needs sorting out, ever!!

Wherearemymarbles · 09/10/2019 14:07

my wife never wants sex during her periods. Makes her feel completely unsexy and she feels shit plus they were heavy for days on end. Never had it in 26 years together.

For a lot of our marriage I quite liked the time off!!

Namechangedyorkshire · 09/10/2019 15:56

I wasn't keen when I had my period. But I have a Mirena coil and brilliant, I don't have periods any more so brilliant. DH is very happy as well

StarlightLady · 10/10/2019 19:54

@SAHD2020 - Fair comment. Flowers

Fucksandflowers · 11/10/2019 17:27

I would never want sex on a period.
Cramps and general shitty feeling aside I bleed heavily and it tends to be full of clots. Not a sexy thought having that all over your sheets and thighs 🤢

I did accidently bleed on DH once (was right at the end of the period - thought we'd be safe!)

DH was perfectly polite about it but I could tell he was grossed out and I was quite embarrassed.

Hidingtonothing · 15/10/2019 17:22

DH would but I always feel a bit sensitive (not in a good way) when I'm on so we don't. My sex drive goes up though so I'm like a walking contradiction, really want to but then when I actually think about it the last thing I want is anything poking about when my insides feel like they're falling out Hmm

AlphaJura · 15/10/2019 21:13

An ex never wanted to so I thought it wasn't something people did and I wouldn't expect someone to unless they said they didn't mind. I couldn't on a heavy period though, the thought of that over everything would put me off. I've now got a mirena coil and although I was hoping not to get periods, I still do but they're lighter than before (used to flood through a couple of thick pads a night at one point). Current dp doesn't mind but I'd only let him if it was light.

Crystal87 · 18/10/2019 19:24

My DH isn't bothered by it and still wants to but I don't. I find it gross. I have heavy painful periods and it just gets everywhere. I'll do it towards the end when I'm light but when it's the proper flow, no.

Athrawes · 19/10/2019 10:24

It is only with current DP that I have ever had sex with my period. Before now I have always felt quite embarrassed about the mess, apologetic. But current DP seems to.find me desirable come rain or shine and is not in the slightest bit perturbed. Funny really as he is an older man (60+) and I thought would be more conservative. Pretty vanilla in every other way. Fabulous!!

DeniseRoyal · 19/10/2019 19:09

Me and DP have never had sex during my period, its not something that appeals to either of us! I have done it in the past but it felt a bit weird and messy, so I'm quite happy to wait, and so is DP.

Thehop · 20/10/2019 22:34

We don’t at all. DH probably would but it makes me feel yuck.

ShellyAnn1 · 04/11/2019 23:44

It used to be a no way from me, but my current partner wanted to anyway. He loves oral and did all that whilst I was on day 2. I cringe at the thought but he had no qualms and wanted me regardless. We definitely turned a corner in our relationship after that!

SomewhereInbetween1 · 06/11/2019 21:09

We do and I can't really tell the difference! It's a little messier but honestly we both just find it funny. I'm usually very light but occasionally it can end up looking like a massacre 😂

angell84 · 10/11/2019 14:03

I would like to have it on my period. I never have yet.

I can see why some men don't want to.

Blood makes them think that they are hurting the woman - is one reason.

Blood is usually associated with some one being hurt.

Women see blood alot more than men.

But if someone was up to do it with me, I would love to do it at that time

ChippyPickledEggs · 17/11/2019 19:58

Oh, that was my thread about the period sex Grin

I don't mind and neither does my current partner. Although he did joke that the bed looked like something out of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre afterwards. We're at the beginning of our relationship though so pretty hot for each other and want to make the most of any opportunity we get.

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