Insecurities

[Scaryprospects]

I’ve split up from my husband around 9 months ago. A lot of friends suggest I should start dating but I’m terrified. My ExH was abusive verbally and has made me feel very insecure about the way I look. I have a gorgeous DS but I put on almost 8 stone with him and I have lost it all so I have stretch marks and lots of loose skin. I also breastfed for a year so I have as my exH described it at the time ‘ruined myself’

I used to be very confident in my own skin and sex but now I just feel like I’m starting all over again. Any advice ?

I am so sorry to hear of your husband's abuse.

Our greatest joys, as well as our biggest disappointments, come from relationships so you must not shut yourself away from life.

Somewhere there will be someone who will love your stretch marks and your boobs, but if you don't look you'll never find them. Be brave and make someone happy.

I would personally say that 8 months is nothing at all after a relationship like that. Maybe the Freedom Programme, some therapy? I would look for things that make you feel wonderful rather than dating per se.

I’m sorry to hear about your past.

For the confidence increase l think it’s a case of treating like with like. We are all older and many of us larger. It’s time for a new wardrobe for starters.

By contrast in the right situation get your kit off at almost every opportunity. Become proud of your body and your naked self again. It may be difficult at first but it can be worth it. If it’s warm enough consider dinner in the nude (not in a restaurant!!!) and just think, no spaghetti blobs!

Go for it, get out socialising just don't jump into bed at first choice, feel desired and wanted then your confidence will high.