Tips for lasting longer

[moresaltthanpeppernow]

A bloke writes.

It's not like it's all over before I've got inside, but I do not have control over the timing of my ejaculation after we've been in PIV for around 3-5 mins. Less if it's been a while. Occasionally I do have complete control but it's rare and usually after a few drinks and if we've dtd a few times recently.

The only way to prevent me cumming is by completely stopping for a minute or so, but that kills the moment a bit and doesn't really solve things anyway.

Paradoxically, what really sends me over the edge is her getting really into the PIV, so a bit crap for her too if I have to take time out.

Who's got good tips for lasting longer?

Also (cue obligatory insecure male paranoia bit), am I normal or a bit premature?

I'm the same, I always go down on her first until she has orgasm using fingers at same time, then when I'm inside her I'm a few mins sometimes less if she's been playing with me in a 69er. Sometimes I'll just keep going till I shoot or pull out and go back between her legs but not in a 69. Usually have sex 2-3 times so each time lasts longer.

A large glass of wine, but only one, or going again is the only way I last more than 5 mins. But making sure she always comes and not being hung up about the performances you see on porn, which may well be fake, seems important too. If your partner's happy there's nothing to worry about.

This sounds normal but amazing [sigh]. Most of my partners have suffered from ejaculatory retardation, especially as we all get older. I often feel it must be my fault. 3-5 minutes sounds perfect. Does she actually want more than that?? A condom would do the job if you really want to [groan]

I only ever last 3-4 minutes. But thats
1-2 minutes more than my partner usually needs....

If i ever sleep with someone else they will think I am properly crap in bed!

Lots of oral, that's the key. Not many women orgasm from PIV only, so get that tongue working. Or like the post said above, go a second time.

Lots of oral, that's the key. Not many women orgasm from PIV only, so get that tongue working. Or like the post said above, go a second time. Also: think you're pretty normal, stop panicking

These days i probably last three to five minutes, very occasionally longer, and if I let DW do a lot of foreplay sometimes it can be less. If I tried to delay by pausing, changing position or changing pace/speed I’d probably lose the erection, so once PIV starts we are on the way to the climax. Long ago I could last a lot longer, take it out to change position, go from oral to PIV and back and back again without losing the erection. Has your partner commented and indicated that she thinks you don’t last long enough? In my experience from my single years between DWs, women vary in how much PIV thrusting they want or can take, since most do not orgasm from PIV, if they have already orgasmed then PIV is usually the finale, some are happy with three to five mins, some would love more, and a few could take or leave it.

Can you just carry on? I can hold off, in general I don’t as I can carry on after I cum, I do have to slow down for a minute or two, but after that I can carry on as normal.

What does your partner think?

When it comes to issues raised on MN, I am one of the first to complain about “mansplaining” on womens’ issues so I enter this discussion from a female perspective with a little hesitation.

Firstly, there is more sesation from someone pulling back inside you than going forward. On that basis, slow down, it’s not about rapid thrusting.

Secondly the primary female sex organ is the clitoris, so spend more time on the foreplay (an underated description of anything if ever there was one) rather than seeing penetration as the sex act in isolation.

Finally try switching to oral during penetration and then switching back again. Always remember there is more to sex than the length of time spent during insertion. @

I find the older I get the longer it takes me to finish .... So it may get better in time.

Otherwise - the more sex I have the longer it takes each time. Masturbate in the morning and have sex at night!

I’m no expert but it sounds normal to me.
Definitely do as much as you can beforehand to make sure she is satisfied.
Changing positions helps - I do that a lot because I really like it but also because it makes DH last a lot longer. Also slowing down every now and then helps - again I tend to interfere with the speed for the same reason as above.

Oh dear, where are my manners, sorry for slow reply. Thanks all for the replies. Interesting stuff.

More ladies comments also v welcome.

Notwithstanding all this lovely feedback, I would love it if she (ie, I) could control when I come rather than it happening to her, so I'm especially interested in views on that.

Here's what I have learnt from you lot:

• 3-5 min range is not unusual, so I'm not totally inadequate - phew
• Ladies who've inputted into this thread quite like the 3-5 minute range - hooray. Are there others out there who prefer it for longer?
• Preceding PIV with lots of oral is a good thing. I do lots of oral on her and we both enjoy mucho, so double hooray
• Try changing position. Roger that

But I wonder if anyone else has suggestions on me learning to achieve more control.

Cheers all

Do it more than once. Sometimes round 2 it takes me ages to cum, certainly no complaints from the missus.

Could you try edging when your by yourself ?

I honestly prefer a man that can last longer and the last bloke I was with could have sex for as long as I wanted, once I was done I’d say do you want to cum now and he could cum within minutes.

I asked him how he managed to do it as I know all men can’t and he said he used to edge. So he would wank and get to the point of nearly cumming but he wouldn’t cum and repeat increasing the amount of time you can edge for..

I've always edged when wanking (whilst watching porn) but it's not made any difference to how long I last during sex. I think how often you have sex will play a part, example 1 a month and your bound to shoot within minutes. I always make sure partner has her orgasm before piv with oral/foreplay, she is then more sensitive to reach another orgaam whilst inside her. She also loves nipples getting attention as they are linked to the same nerve as the clit. Knowing she's cum takes a it of pressure of me as I want her to enjoy as much as I do.

OP has your partner says she wants to spend longer in penetration?

I personally prefer oral followed by a short PIV session of 3-5 mins. 10 mins max then I start getting bored and pissed off. Can you, for example, finish off face to face when you're wanking yourself and she's using a vibrator? For me this sort of session is much more intimate than PIV.