Ethical non monogamy

[TemporaryPermanent]

I'm having a go at this. I currently have one FWB/lover, one text sex partner, and I've agreed with them both that the texter can become a sexual partner. The negotiation is very difficult but exciting in a way because I've never been able to talk about sex in the past. Just wondered about others' experiences.

If the partners are okay with the arrangement then it shouldn't be an issue.

Non monogamy/open relationship is a valid arrangement to have.

Do they take other lovers as well?

They can do, original guy has a possible in mind.

Good for you OP!

I'm polyamorous and my DP is monogamous. We work on the basis of four things - bravery, honesty, communication and trust. If i don't have all four of these things within my relationships then there's something very wrong. Besides DP, i have two other relationships. One a very intense emotional and sexual relationship with a man i care for very deeply and the other is more of a 'fwb' type of thing. They all know about each other and DP and the first bloke I mentioned are good friends.

That's really interesting Opiesoldlady. Can I ask how it began? Did you know you were poly before meeting your dp, were you ever monogamous together? How long have you had poly relationships?

When we started seeing each other nine months ago, I believed I had been given a free pass from my original lover to do what I liked. I hadn't thought of an open relationship before, but once he said this, I went crazy experimenting, but without telling him anything. That was not what he meant! So I've learned the hard way that positive honesty is needed throughout. We've regrouped and are trying again in a much more boundaried way.

Gahh... i typed out a massive long response and just lost it! Bloody phone! I'll try again tomorrow.

I'm all for relationship anarchy.

Noego I think that's what I might have been doing earlier... does it work for you? Or better than non-anarchy, anyway?

I'm poly. Currently only seeing one as thats all i feel i need/have time for but my mind is open. I've 'run' 2 men before and there were really positive actions, like built-in support from other partners during breakups you really do have to be honest with yourself about jealousy levels though.

Jealousy's interesting. I definitely feel it but it feels worse when it's an unfocused constant fear rather than a reality, ie my partner really IS seeing someone else and still likes me. The fear for me is that I will be inadequate compared to the other person - as in childhood friendship dramas which were very all or nothing.

All my relationships are outside the box of societal norms. Agreed between me and the others involved. My primary partner is me. I don't think you can go into any open relationship unless you are totally at ease with your self.
If you have any fears about yourself then don't do it. Your MH will suffer.

Tbh I think Mh suffers a lot in a more standard relationship if you have fears and unaddressed conflicts too. The first connection of this type that ends will be a tricky moment I'm sure.

But it feels good at the moment - much more relaxed and I feel more accepting of the individuals involved because I dont need them to 'fulfil me' or meet all my needs solo.

much more relaxed and I feel more accepting of the individuals involved because I dont need them to 'fulfil me' or meet all my needs solo

Only you will know.

I'm in an open relationship for about 15 years. I'm quite loyal in a sense that my primary relationship is my priority - I don't sleep with anyone unless and until it has been talked through and okayed by my partner (not in general terms but each specific case in detail), I always come back and always want to come back. I never enter relationships which have the potential to become a threat to my primary relationship and family life. I wouldn't last long in a monogamous relationship. Life is for living.

Good luck - hope it works for you too x