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Original poster

Why didn't he cum?

22 replies

PinotPony · 16/09/2019 22:06

First time in bed with new BF (30). Started off well enough but soon turned into frantic Duracell bunny pounding. Went on for ages until I was getting bored and sore. In the end he just wanked himself off. I asked what was going on and he muttered about being tired and thirsty. But the same thing happened again the next morning.

I'm thinking he either wasn't enjoying himself that much or he watches too much porn. But I would have thought those kind of issues would result in failure to get hard, not a hard penis that just keeps going!!

I'm sure it's something that can be resolved next time we DTD and I'm not particularly concerned. Just wondered if anyone had similar experience or ideas why this might have happened..?

OP posts:
Original poster
PinotPony · 16/09/2019 22:10

I should mention there was lots of perfectly lovely playing in between the frenzied banging so I don't think he's just a selfish twat putting himself first. Just needs a little technique education! Grin

OP posts:
TextbookCase · 16/09/2019 23:17

with a little training sounds like you've got a real find...won't be any problem going for ages whenever you want.

NameChangeNugget · 16/09/2019 23:36

You should be celebrating this Grin

MisterT373 · 17/09/2019 08:12

Sometimes you just get past the moment you dont want to cum but you know your partner is enjoying it and you want to keep going. Millions of nerve endings in the old chap and they can get desensitized.

MarieG10 · 17/09/2019 08:16

It sounds more like nerves to me and pressure to perform. I have heard of this before from a couple of friends with a new relationship. I know one overcame it when it went too long by going down on him and saying she wanted him to finish like that. Not discussed it any more but I do know she is super happy with their love life now.

Dinks66 · 17/09/2019 18:47

Some anti-depressants can result in ejaculation problems.

NewStart571 · 17/09/2019 21:09

Personally I can’t think of anything worse than someone pounding away for hours on top of me. I would not be compatible with such a person.

Perhaps he was nervous OP?

Rachelover60 · 17/09/2019 21:41

Sounds good to me. There's a lot more to good sex than orgasm. Have some real fun, try tantric.

Jsku · 18/09/2019 00:27

It happens to men, just like it happens to lots of women - where it’s difficult to relax and ‘allow’ yourself to come. And once it’s on his mind - it’s a vicious circle.

Best thing you can do is NOT to ask what’s wrong. It would only make it worse.
If he is taking a while - and it’s not enjoyable - change positions and ask what you can do for him. Use hands, for eg

Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 18/09/2019 16:21

Did you cum?

I was kinda like this on sertraline. I could go on as long as I wanted but could always finish.

xpc316e · 18/09/2019 17:34

I have had both shoulders replaced due to osteo-arthritis and sometimes the pain in my shoulders in certain positions results in my being unable to orgasm. The pain just blocks out everything else. Perhaps you should ask him whether there are any physical issues that cause him pain.

BoringUserName00 · 18/09/2019 20:40

I would suggest not asking him anything at this point. It's too early to start questioning things. Just explore and experiment to find what suits you both. Suggest to him what turns you on and what you would like him to do and what you would like to do too

Tinkerbellx · 18/09/2019 21:32

Hi
I experienced similar with new partner and was in similar position .
I think it was just performance anxiety looking back .

I just said nothing but "we " finished him off and I made absolutely no mention . After a few occasions he did cum and has never looked back .
He still takes a while but I love that and if it's too long he's very understanding and we just do other things .
It's early days OP just enjoy each other x

greyspottedgoose · 18/09/2019 21:40

When my dp has had a few lines he will go forever? Nightmare just get it over with and go to sleep!

Notcoolmum · 20/09/2019 20:42

He was able to cum when he masturbates. Did he do this vigorously? Google death grip.

peonypower · 20/09/2019 21:58

I had a bf like this. He rarely came. Said he found it hard to let go.

Notcoolmum · 21/09/2019 07:59

But he did cum when he masturbated so it's not a release issue.

It will be the death grip. He is so used to his own vigorous touch that his cock is desensitised. Google the Dan Savage guide on death grip.

It points to high use of porn. If can be worked on. But you would need to talk about it.

Original poster
PinotPony · 13/10/2019 07:48

Anal. That's what it took! I'm not doing that every bloody time! 🤣

Thinks it's time to cut my losses and accept that he's just not that into me. Or, at least, not into the right part of me! 🙄

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 13/10/2019 15:25

That's because it's tighter and closer to the feel of his death grip!!

Original poster
PinotPony · 13/10/2019 19:40

Clearly my pelvic floor exercises haven't been working! Not particularly good for the confidence... 🙄

I tried the "death grip" - he said I was too rough. There's no pleasing some people! 😂

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 13/10/2019 21:25

Haha @PinotPony it's his own touch he's used to. Have you discussed it with him?

Dinks66 · 13/10/2019 22:24

He's probably frightened of getting you pregnant, but feels safe to ejaculate knowing it's not possible.

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